The Iron Table
The Iron Table
Dating Past Your 20s: The Peace He Really Wants Isn't Always Your Ass
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Dating feels louder than ever, but a lot of people still end up lonely and stuck in the “we’re just talking” zone. We sit down as four brothers and get honest about why so many men seem fine keeping things casual, what makes commitment feel risky, and how the standards and incentives of modern dating have changed the whole playing field.
We connect everyday life and humor with deeper relationship truth: the way you argue matters, tone matters, and “peace” is not code for silence. We talk about what peace actually looks like during disagreement, why time and place can save a relationship, and how words can either empower a man or slowly tear him down. We also address a common misunderstanding head-on: a woman's credentials, income, and status might impress on a resume, but they do not automatically create attraction or emotional safety for men.
Then we zoom out and look at the bigger system. When sex becomes easy to get without commitment, supply and demand shift, expectations shift, and overstimulation makes comparison feel endless. Our goal is not to shame anybody, but to name what is happening and offer practical ways to build real connection: humility, character, good conversation, and affirmation that feels sincere.
If you’ve ever wondered why dating keeps stalling, hit play, then share this with a friend and leave a review. What do you think is the biggest reason commitment feels harder now?
Welcome And Housekeeping
SPEAKER_01Welcome to the Iron Table, where iron sharpens iron, so should men sharpen men. I'm your host, Brian Gadon, and I'm joined by my brothers Keith, Danny, and Steve. We're your waiters bringing you truth with a side of humor, loaded with accountability and thought. We now bring you to our program already in progress. Just hold on. We're coming. Oh, you don't want to do it this time. Hate you.
SPEAKER_03The program is already in progress.
SPEAKER_01I mean, Iron Table where Iron Sharpens Iron. I just noticed that part. I don't I don't care.
SPEAKER_02It is actually.
SPEAKER_01All right, so let's start off with the housekeeping things. Um, of course, Iron Table does not own the rights to any music used or in its segments. We appreciate the talents and crafts of the musicians, and we only use their music to honor their gift. We're honoring Sam and Dave with Hold On. You can also find us on Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and you've probably seen this because you're watching YouTube. Uh search for the Iron Table. Started using TikTok too. Uh recordings of this podcast and others can be found at irontable.budsprouse.com. Like, subscribe, share. Okay, we got all that out the out the way.
Detroit Trip And Travel Stories
SPEAKER_01Um fellas, it's been about a month. We ran out of video clips, so we had to record again. So how have things been? Uh based on our last recording, uh brother Keith. Um your birthday was coming up in a couple of days.
SPEAKER_02So what happened?
SPEAKER_01Do you even want to tell us? Are you allowed to tell us? Right.
SPEAKER_02What happened? Wow. For my birthday, I went to Detroit. Had a good time, right? Uh, went up and played with the fellas. G major with my man and had a good time with the with the wife. He went jitting.
SPEAKER_01What is jitting? What what is did you go to the eighth mile?
SPEAKER_02Actually, I mean, you yeah, I mean, it's it's almost hard to not go in that area when you go with a visit. But yeah, I went downtown Detroit. Uh went see my some people at the church. I'm like, yeah, we we we covered a lot of ground that that in those few days that we were there, so it was good. So saw uh Leah, Lonnie, Lonnie, Leah. I'm saying, yeah, we saw a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00So he decides to come to Detroit when I'm in another part of the country. All right.
SPEAKER_02Somebody told you go on no cruise, right? You out there looking at the Alaskan mountains.
SPEAKER_03He was trying to get to some of that real Detroit music. The real the real deal. He knew you wouldn't play it.
SPEAKER_00I was trying to get to that them snow caps.
SPEAKER_01Did you see some um some icebergs?
SPEAKER_00No, it's global warming. No, you barely saw snow. He saw green trees and mud.
SPEAKER_01No, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_00Oh that money, and I saw more snow in Detroit than I've seen in Alaska.
SPEAKER_02You at least went sled, didn't you?
SPEAKER_00With some real with some huskies, and he was like, let me tell you, okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So the the the excursions, the picture is of like you said, huskies and Alaskan melamutes, and you're on a sled, and it's snow. When you get to the when you get to the excursion, it's some mud, some lab, labrador retrievers. There's a go, there's a like a golf cart on wheels with no engine, and they put you in it, and you're they pull you in mud. In mud, mud. It's mud. It's not snow, it's mud.
SPEAKER_01It's Alaskan mud.
SPEAKER_00They want like a thousand dollars per person for that. That's not fair. Right.
SPEAKER_02No, that's not fair. They got to be pulled in the mud. No real huskies, no labrador retriever mutts. Mutts. Go get go get that little dog, the little purse dog. Put put him on too.
SPEAKER_01Any available animal, right?
SPEAKER_02Is that a yorkey? Put him on there. He can he'll do his best. So, yeah, they got y'all because that I know where I would have, I would have, I would have been upset. Y'all gonna get me a husky and and run me in some snow or something. I can't prepare with all these layers of clothes. Sweating.
SPEAKER_00We had to take off overpacked, overpacked. I had all these dilute and car heart, all this just ready for the Yukon, none of that. Sweating, could have worn shorts. Well, you know what? Back to Keith, what you miss about Detroit, man, besides the people. What you miss about Detroit?
SPEAKER_02Naturally, my ideas, like you said, for people. And um, we went to some places I've to eat. Actually, I was surprised. Well, you did warn me about about the price of one of these places. You like, oh yeah, you about to so um but uh the art like downtown, like I mean, places we used to go all the time. The music, places we used to, I mean, but places we used to go all the time, like um where do we go for lunch? Uh the market was oh, eastern market, yeah. So go look when we go through Easter Market again, seeing all the murals and things that's always been there, but you know, they always change just how they've redone, they've upgraded a lot. The river walk and everything is they put up, they've put a lot, they've invested a lot back into the city itself because I'm here with in Baltimore where Baltimore and Detroit are very similar in a lot of ways as far as industry, how they've collapsed, how they're trying to rebuild, but Baltimore struggle still struggles because they need to take some lessons from Detroit on how to rebuild because it's it's beautiful. I mean, and like I said, they're ripping everything up, but they're they're investing back into themselves and they're making the necessary changes to improve it. So I enjoy being there. Um I I had a lot of fun. I saw a lot of people.
SPEAKER_01Um yeah, did a lot of special shout out to uh Mrs. Keith uh for giving you an opportunity to kind of look at uh place you've been in in a while differently.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's it it does. You know, it's a gamble. But it it it but it paid off.
SPEAKER_01Okay, Mr. Danny. Since
Bible Museum And History Lessons
SPEAKER_01the last time we recorded. Wait a minute, are you on that?
SPEAKER_03Oh man, I'm still on the high from the Bible museum. I got a delay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you you on that that apple, aren't you? Forbidden fruit. I don't think it's a not on that, you're on that, not on that high quality Wi-Fi. That's what it is. But no, um, going as you were saying, the Bible museum.
SPEAKER_02Oh, the Bible museum, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I did forget. I'm on Wi-Fi now. Hopefully that'll work. I took it off because it was messing up. So, is that better? Uh give it some time. Okay, maybe.
SPEAKER_02Looks like it gotta buffer a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Gotta catch all of you. I may uh hop in on another device in a second there, but no, absolutely. Um, you know, great to hang out with the fellas. Might as Steve, we're gonna crop you into the photo, you know, just hanging, watching uh the people get together prepping for America's 250th anniversary. Um, what I found particularly intriguing was um the um well we we were in the Bible museum, and what I found intriguing is how much the Bible had been used to perpetuate slavery and a bunch of other things. But um as as I was reading, going through listening, reading the actual newspaper articles to see what the discussions were back then, the the equivalent of podcasting back then was um them writing the newspapers and going going to town. Uh, it was just great, great to be able to. Um I'm kind of a history kind of guy, research. So I had a great time with the fellas. Since then, you know, my daughter's kind of gone back south to Florida. Right now, my um my other son is celebrating another relative's graduation. All is well, doing some things entrepreneurially and grateful to be at the yard.
SPEAKER_01All right.
Sports Chaos And Public Consequences
SPEAKER_01Well, I'll just say uh just a couple of things. One, um, it was it was pretty rough um on June 13th. Uh the San Antonio Spurs lost to the Knicks. Um and we had talked about that the Knicks would people people would not this the city would not be ready. Um and fortunately, someone lost their job.
SPEAKER_00Burn it did. Burn it did.
SPEAKER_01Somebody lost their job for taking a trash can. Um dumping trash on the street to take the trash can. Um it's not worth it. Um, but what I was telling people uh huh?
SPEAKER_02They lost their job for that. It's true.
SPEAKER_01She lost her job, and they they were saying she made like 300,000, allegedly 300,000. Um, and lost because it was caught on camera. Uh, people need to stop doing stuff when that camera's rolling.
SPEAKER_00You can't say she was amongst the mob and she made that nice slump of change. Oof, boy, that got to hurt. She had three, she got three hundred thousand dollars worth of bills. Uh that lifestyle is pretty, probably pretty nice, and ooh, we but did she hurt anybody hurt, like she hurt herself, but did she by dumping garbage out onto the street from a trash can?
SPEAKER_02That's it.
SPEAKER_00Teach a lesson, that's what it's called. Like an example, I guess.
SPEAKER_01So, you know, I ain't gonna embarrass us. What we saw was a very good team versus a team of destiny because you don't you're not up by 29 and you lose. That that that that was um shocking. Everybody going to sleep, like, oh man, yeah, but 29. Wake up in the morning, lost by one. Like, what the what happened? So we had that. Um, then went to the Bible museum uh recently, uh, got lied to by a young person. Um said, I looked like I was in my 30s. I was like, you might as well stop lying. You know, this person needs to be fired in the Bible museum. He's supposed to be telling the truth at all times, but she didn't. But no, it was a it was a good experience um to kind of hang out with the brothers. Uh normally when I looked at the time, if it's anything past 10 o'clock, I'm like, I don't feel like going. But it was like one something, and we just created an event on the fly. Uh, went down, had a good time. Good to see people in person, um, to really interact. Uh no, we do this online. We had a really good time just laughing, making jokes, uh, making those around us uh feel comfortable and better. Um it was a pretty good couple of couple of days since the last time we we spoke.
Car Breakdown And A Lucky Text
SPEAKER_01But while I was out, yeah, you want to talk about what you went through?
SPEAKER_00Man, let man I'll just say this. I will say this. I I I've God I'm not gonna say God humbles you, but I you know, certain situations are supposed to let you oh I I I wasn't sure where you was about to go there with that.
SPEAKER_01So my bad.
SPEAKER_00Let's just let's just say it is more embarrassing to have a very expensive car break down in the middle of the road than it is to have a hoopty break down in the middle of the road. So God has a funny way of humbling you, but it worked. Oh, it worked, it definitely worked. It definitely worked, but everything happens for a reason.
SPEAKER_01I'm sorry that happened to you. Um glad that you did not name the brand. Please don't do that.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I'll do it. I'll do it. Oh, I'll do it. Oh, I will do it.
SPEAKER_01I guess that only censors me because I can still hear it.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. But you know what? Something really good came, something really good came out of it though. I don't know why it did, but it's something really good. I've been trying to get in contact with this uh this uh lady that I heard at guitar center playing um jazz chords on the piano. I'm like, oh my god, you do truth. And I wanted her to kind of uh mentor and teach me um these particular uh techniques that she has. And she said she wasn't doing any type of um, she wasn't taking on any new students. Um but here's my number. When I do, I'll give you call XYZ. When this ordeal happened, I started texting my uh known uh tow truck guy. I thought I was texting him, but I was texting her. And she said, Hey, you know what, by the way, I'm glad that you reached out to me because uh guess what? I'm okay that this this works out. So something good came out of it.
SPEAKER_02That is good.
SPEAKER_00Wait a little composite. I I got to because I'll go crazy looking at the other because a car that expensive should not do what it did, and it did it. I said, Mom! And it was in and it was embarrassing.
SPEAKER_02Broken luck!
SPEAKER_00And I here's the thing with these new cars, you can't put them in neutral. You can't put them if the the if the pat if the power's out, you can't put it in neutral. So I couldn't even push it out the street. Couldn't even lock, going nowhere. The toe truck person couldn't even do it. You know, people drive people like to drive by like this, and oh, it was some hecklers. Oh, it was some hecklers!
SPEAKER_01Oh it was blow into the two, blow into the two, it'll start.
SPEAKER_00Oh boy, but otherwise, everything was okay. Me and my girl, we got the she she was he was concerned because she she's the one that recommended me get the car.
SPEAKER_01So she was with you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she was with me. She was just trying to calm me down. Uh I could have just a woman trying to calm you down. You press the button, you press the button, you you did it. I should have, I should have done that, but no, she it was cool, it's fine. You know, like I said, when things like that happen, you gotta look at the brighter side and be thankful that you're blessed to be able to even just take care of what needs to be taken care of. So I'm good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you can be in light of any tragedy. Like I said, glad it was the car and not y'all.
SPEAKER_00You ain't never lied, because I went on that motorcycle for my first ride this this week, too. And I don't think I ooh, that hurt. I'm too old for this.
SPEAKER_02I told you.
SPEAKER_00Um my booty hurt, it hurt.
SPEAKER_01So you have a cruiser or a cross rocket?
SPEAKER_00A crop rocket and a uh upright one, but the upright one is extremely fast and it hurts. It hurts.
SPEAKER_01Is it one of those Valkyrie?
SPEAKER_00Nah, not that. I don't I don't ride with my legs up spread up in the uh in the in the sky. I can't do that. We we don't need this. I don't like that. I'm just saying, I'm not going for a Papsman. It's not I mean I don't want to do that. I don't want to put my I'm not doing that. I don't want to put my legs up in the sky and just take all rocks, and I can't do it. Can't do it. Sorry, my fellow Harley Davidson Raptors.
SPEAKER_01You could have just said crane kick. You could have just said crane kick. We would have understood.
Why Dating Never Becomes Commitment
SPEAKER_01While we were um just I mean, yesterday while we were out at the Bible Museum and we were walking around after we um we stayed till it closed. Um, and while we were walking around, um, we just saw, I mean, I'm I'm not technically I'm not allowed to look, but I just see people. Let me just put that. You know, I just see people. There was they laughing. Um, there was a lot of women walking in groups or by themselves, you know. You usually around the area that we're at, there was a lot of restaurants, so you think of a lot of uh dating, um, a lot of um kind of you know group um kind of activities, but it was just a lot of just single women just walking around in in groups, like five, six, seven deep. So it just had me thinking. Um let's see, just two questions. I'll start with this one. Says lately it looks as if men are okay with not going past the dating stage. What are some of the reasons that this is true? And what can women do to change that? They can't trust no. This is this is truth. Did we not say uh truth with accountability?
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm always gonna go ahead and this way. We are okay with not going past the dating stage because we don't have the date to have our feel of what it is most men actually want. Oh, I'm using that, have my feel. Yeah, and and and because there's no demand that we meet the bar is so low, why buy the cow when you already get the milk for free? I mean, like and let me let me let me put it this way there are so many more women out there who would all be willing to give you a drink to your family.
SPEAKER_01Nevertheless. So you're saying one of the reasons is just the the ratio of women to men. There's definitely more women than there are men. Now, is it because they're like the birth rate of men, or because of standards being at a certain level that they've kind of eliminated um men based on say their earning potential, maybe their education, um, the letters behind their name, um, education-wise, or you know, just maybe how far they are in their job. Like, is that some of the things that are weeding out? Because I see a lot of brothers out there. I see a lot of brothers by themselves. But if we're saying that there's a lot of women and there's not a lot of men, how are those guys not aligning themselves with with a woman?
SPEAKER_00Who usually complains more about being by themselves? Is it more women than men that complain about that? We we comfortable being by ourselves.
SPEAKER_02We can relish in the quiet and and and the i will say we like compatibility, but we don't necessarily look for a relationship. We'd like somebody to be available. We like companionship, not compatibility. I was saying trying to say companionship. We look for companionship. We do. We most men want some level of companionship. We don't want always look for the title, we don't always need relationship in that meaning the name, so we are comfortable not having the the title of boyfriend or or husband. We a lot of times, generally speaking, because again, we I was talking about this the other day. I've said this many times. Most men don't wake up and say at four years old, you know, I can't wait to plan my wedding one day. We not think about that. That's most that's women like that. They have a you know an idea of what they want that day to look like, who's supposed to be there, and my dad walking me down the aisle. They have all these dreams and hopes and aspirations about that day that we we just want to know how much it's gonna cost and when is it gonna be over? Because I'm gonna go home. My feet hurt these ugly shoes. Uh so a lot of times we are we are okay having. I'm gonna just I'm gonna can I be real? Can I just we have
SPEAKER_01Please be real because you're looking up and people are gonna be wondering, Are you lying?
SPEAKER_02We'll like a lot of times men who are just dating are okay with having a roster or a team. Like I don't women are too, but since we just talked about men, uh be honest, we're okay with having a team, so we'll have like companionship through that team, but we're not looking uh we're not looking to pick one unless we have to. Yes, it's a rotation.
SPEAKER_01That sounds bad, man. Unless we have to.
SPEAKER_00Yes, oh man, no, exactly. But you it's more that it's more detrimental for a man to get married, though. Like you it's you got so much to lose if this doesn't work out. It's so much to lose, you know. If you if at any point in time you don't like me no more, you don't like how my tharts stink, or whatever it may be, you just say I'm up and out, and you get all of every you you can get half of whatever I've I've accumulated or whatever it may be, it doesn't it doesn't work out for us, not even half sometimes it's all you get the whole god forbid, god forbid I have a couple of kids with you because I'll have 25 cents on my check, all because you just decided you didn't this ain't working out for you no more. You know, so it's it's detrimental for us to enter in a relationship, a committed relationship in a marriage, because it's it's like you know, if this don't work out, if you're not feeling a certain way, I stand to lose so much compared to what you stand to lose.
SPEAKER_03And now let me answer first world problems because back in the day we didn't have all of all this. I'll just say this we we were just trying to make sure we were able to physically survive, and so all of this happiness and these other things that we're pursuing, like none of that matters. We're just trying to make sure that your kids could eat, the lights stayed on, and no the repo man didn't come to to foreclose on your house. And so now that now that there is a state of of economic success, if you want to term it that, where um where women who were once marginalized now oftentimes are um earning more than their counterparts. So that that comes into play into the relational dynamic, and I mean it creates a lot of situations within the complexities that already exist with
The Economics Behind Modern Sex
SPEAKER_03relationships. So I don't want to go in a rabbit hole or anything like that, but I do believe that one thing I was gonna say that there's a video it's called The Economics of Sex. When you watch this video on YouTube, the economics of sex, it points out how the dating market is it's like it's like economics, macroeconomics, which some of us had to take when we were in school. So um it's supply-demand curve. And so, because of supply and demand, there's so many more women who are looking for marriage, and there's so many men who just want sex, right? And so if men are able to get sex without marriage, then that's gonna completely jack up the supply and demand curve, and so there's a lot of other nuance in there. It talks about the impact of the pill because now sex no longer equates with pregnancy and with lifelong commitment, and so you've got a lot of different factors that are coming into play, creating these dynamics, and we're just figuring it out. We we're all trying to figure out okay, what happens next? But even while we were walking out yesterday, we saw groups and groups of girls. How many other guys did we see? Guys' groups, did we see guys? I don't remember seeing no, we might have been the only one.
SPEAKER_01Oh, so all eyes were unless they were unless they were sitting at the I don't know. Yeah, I wasn't looking.
SPEAKER_02But I mean, there was you you would see groups of guys, but they were like face facing a television, um, like usually at a bar because it was uh it was FIFA, uh I'll say you see a group of guys at the bar watching the game or coming from a uh sports area, but I didn't see any guys like like I remember back in the day we would go to the mall to hunting, hunting, hunting, wow numbers to hunt to get phone numbers to track these lights. We look forward to dare it. I dare you go talk to her. I bet you won't go talk to her.
SPEAKER_00Man, even just to even to try to marry a girl, man. Look, man, you can you you think this ring that you getting is there? Oh man, this this is nice. This is she and women have been known to just look at a man like, what's this? Because they are comparing themselves to all their friends and everybody else that's on social media that when this man puts his heart and soul into this ring, you're looking at him like uh no, I need more carriage than that. It needs to be big. It it it's traumatic for us. It was like, uh sometimes at a certain point, something men are just saying, I ain't gotta do this, I ain't got to do this. I'm tired, I ain't dealing with this. No.
SPEAKER_01So I I've seen, you know, as we get older, we have that mindset. You know, I've been there, done that, you know, but it I'm not after this anymore. But what are we after now in that age? And then also I've seen for those like we talked about going to the mall. Kids aren't going, there aren't any malls anymore. Right. Everything is kind of far. You got uh plazas or something like that, those outdoor places. Um stores are falling, most people are buying their stuff online. Um, where can these young people go in order to try to wrap that game? Because they spending time online, some of them are afraid to talk to people.
SPEAKER_02Like where most of them are to each other, they're scared to talk to each other, and they they're sitting right next to each other and text pretty soon.
SPEAKER_01Nobody's gonna want to talk to anybody.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's where it's at. We are here. I was gonna say now, pretty soon we're here. We here.
SPEAKER_01So knowing what we know, and just going back to the second part of the question, you know, you know, we we've we've acknowledged that it's true, but what can women do to change it? You know, back to that. Does the pendulum switch switch back to them where they have to be the proactive ones, the hunters?
SPEAKER_02In some cases, yes. Um, in some not all cases, but closed mouths don't get fit sometimes. If you're interested, because I say that anyway, even without take all the issues that we have right now with society off the off the table. There are certain some of us who are we were oblivious yesterday. So Steve asked the question did any women notice that we were there? And we all three were like because you know why? Because we weren't like looking for it. That's because we're not looking for it, and women don't understand that about us. They think every time we on the hunt. There's a lot of times we don't we just chilling, we're in chill mode. I'm I'm at the movies or I'm with my kids, or I'm in a place where I I'm not looking for anybody to be looking for me, so I don't see it. So why do you think women why why do you think women can't fathom that?
SPEAKER_01I mean, let's be honest. I I'll answer because up until that point, they have been leading with their chest and their butts. Uh oh. Oh, I'm gonna say it. It's it's it's the lore. Well, I'm glad he's frozen because he's probably gonna say something we need to say. I'm glad I'm glad consistent. But no, I'm I'm serious. Like back then in the in the 90s, you know, think about music videos. It was always, you know, breast and butt. Most of the girls were wearing very small dresses, or they were in bathing suits, or some of them was half near naked. Fast forward to 2026 when you got access to it on the internet, all of it. People are sending it through like sexting, sending videos. I mean, even young people who got access to phones at an early age are sending images of themselves. What makes you think that a man at this point in his life is still like like that yours is better than someone else's?
SPEAKER_00And we got robots coming. They already tested out with the fleshlight. Like McDonald's, 100 million serves.
SPEAKER_02It's getting sinister, it's getting crazy out there, but yes, you are leading with because they were told, and it's true, we are visual when we are looking, we are visual creatures. So I some people feel like they are just trying to get somebody's attention, even if they don't like them. They just they at least want him to notice that she is there, is present, she's alive. Um, even if she can't stand him and don't want his attention, she wants his attention sometimes, and then but like you said, you you're also dealing with men who are we are as a gender overstimulated. So it's like when we do see it out in public, we notice, but we don't always care, right?
SPEAKER_00But you know what? What's crazy is that uh I've seen a good handful of women that would be upset. Yes, their attention is not on is not presented to them, or like, or just say, hey, why why you didn't notice me, or you didn't you don't want this, or it's like no, I'm I'm good, and we and uh and the fury just just outright mad and anger and upset have been cursed out because I'm not interested on me on how to get it.
SPEAKER_02But you know the but you want to know the crazy thing though the crazy thing is that when you tried to then approach, ah I don't want you, I don't want huh making it don't make sense, it don't make sense the lure and what bit you was like I don't want it because I wanted the attention for some of them speaking for some of them, they never wanted you, they wanted the attention, and when you didn't give them that, that was an issue, and even some of them when you give them that, it's still an issue because I want the tension, but I wanted from the guy back there, not you. I told you at the job, the girl who likes is sexual harassment if she don't like you. Jesus you whistle at her, that's flirting. If she don't like you and you whistle at her, you're going to HR. You going to HR. Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01So okay. So we we acknowledge that what women are approaching men or or what they're trying to lure with is something that basically back in the day used to be something that you know worked, and we've seen how music has changed. Because you think about what is it, uh sexy red. I don't I've never heard her song, but we talked about it. Oh, I can boy. Oh, we got you heard whop when they talk. I mean, now nothing, nothing compared to sexy when the visual can't now they're going into mental stimulation. They're basically saying, This is what my body can do to you.
SPEAKER_00I I tell you what women can do.
Lead With Intelligence And Peace
SPEAKER_00Lean with some intelligence, lead with a good conversation. Jesus Christ. Just I don't uh like you said, we see this all day. This is nothing, and again, you know, getting mature and getting older, you have an understanding. I ain't about to chase this all my life. I see one, oh man, that's a big one. Woo! I know that there's a whole bunch of there's one bigger than that, and then the one that's bigger than that, there's one bigger than that. And as a man, you understand it will never stop. So at a certain point in time, if you want some peace as a man, it's like, okay, that's not what I want. And you want a woman to be able to lead with some intelligence, lead with some good conversation, you know, stimulate me some another way because I can get that anywhere at this point. So you to answer a question, lead with some some some intelligence, not just Prince Akeen.
SPEAKER_01That sounds like Prince Akeen. My intellect as well as my loins. But I like that. I I would like to add something to it that lead with peace. Lead with peace. Like you can have an argument. We can all have arguments. Everyone is supposed to have an argument. I had disagreement coming from different, but it's how you handle it. Are you bringing peace? And because that's what men want now, they just want peace.
SPEAKER_00That's funny you say that. That is funny. You know, the reason why I'm gonna marry my girl is because of that of how we argue, because it's so different than the norm of like we're actually talking, like it. This is I mean, it's mind blowing, right? We actually have a constructive conversation, even though we have different options, different views of it, and that right there is a turn on to me. It's like, whoa, we can be a little bit angry at each other, talk about it, and and move forward, and not kill each other. I gotta marry you. You see what I'm saying? That that's that's sexy, it's not it's not like traumatized beforehand. Like you gotta have you gotta have some trauma, you gotta have some you gotta have some trauma.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we said trauma, not drama. Trauma, not because trauma lasts for a second, drama can last for a long time. It is chaos, chaos.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you go through when you go through that, wailing, wailing, gnashing of teeth, all that all up. You can appreciate it when it's when you don't have that so much more.
SPEAKER_03You oh my god, when you when you see that it's possible, yeah, and it's just like and you you waiting for them to do what you used to, and you're like, she like that was it. We just had a conversation.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you can get married, like sexiest thing on earth, sexiest thing on earth. Oh Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01So so again, we're saying that you know, peace, you know, being able to have a disagreement, have a communication, you know, conversate, you know, come to, you know, even it's agree to disagree, but it's not volatile. How? How can I mean are there steps that we can share with women in order to do that? Are there steps that we can share with men in order to like not create that situation, but how to manage just to see like it may not happen the first discussion or disagreement, but you know, these are this is the glimpse that gives you hope that says this is probably someone that you can um can rock with for a long period of time. What are those little nuggets as a man that you see that says, All right, yeah, we're we're disagreeing, but this is someone I'm worth you know giving my all for because I think marriage is the ultimate form of sharing. You're giving you acknowledging that you're giving up everything um to a line, and it's the ultimate form of sharing outside of having a kid, and that's
Credentials, Humility, And Real Attraction
SPEAKER_01yeah.
SPEAKER_03Before before we go there, Brian, I just want to add one more thing that it's not that a lot of women get confused, and that's your credentials. Oh, wait, oh you're gonna get in trouble. Oh I'm I'm just saying, bro.
SPEAKER_01No, what do you mean by credentials?
SPEAKER_03Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
SPEAKER_01We got time.
SPEAKER_03What do you get on? So, what what I mean by credentials, I use that broadly because it can go into other things as well. But whatever status you've attained professionally or academically, whether you have a master's degree at the end of your name or a PhD, um, or JD or whatever it is, men don't care. I remember Simbad. Sinbad's very first stand-up. He was talking about how men, after y'all know what I'm talking about, men don't care. If woman's fine, she could be at McDonald's working on fries. We don't care. And when you lead with all it is that you have accomplished in the professional world, and how that has afforded you the ability to have your houses and cars and vacations and all of this stuff.
SPEAKER_01That sounds very manish. I'm gonna say that. That sounds very mannish. Like I'm telling you that I can provide for you.
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm telling you because Kevin Samuels isn't here no more, but women kept why were they calling him on a regular basis? Why they were calling him they knew they knew you never watched Kevin Samuels before, you just want to have to be called, yep, and I'm not saying I agree with everything that he did and the way that he did it, but what it was that he represented was the ability to tell these women what they probably knew but didn't want to believe, and that's still not the fact that yeah, and and that was generally speaking, the fact that a man isn't gonna care how much you make, what accomplishments you have, you know, on the wall. A man wants to know whether or not you are about to, like we said, you're gonna be his peace. If if he's going to be able to rest in your presence, or if he's gonna be stressed in your presence, because if he's gonna be stressed out after coming home from a long day of work, hearing you talking about how he's not this and not that, because you make to him and yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what?
SPEAKER_00Don't hear that. Don't want to hear that, don't want to hear that at all. That's why they say a lot of men, if you go into any uh suburbs and on any given day after five, six o'clock, you see a lot of men just sitting in the driveway because they don't want to go inside the house, they don't want to hear this, they don't want to hear it. They just sit in the driveway, just sitting, just just sitting, but then that's an argument too. Why you sit in the driveway? Who you talking to? Who is she? She's called peace. Then they is that a stripper?
SPEAKER_02That's a stripper now. I'm talking two of them, peace and quiet, and they out here with me.
SPEAKER_04They out here with me.
SPEAKER_02Peace and quiet. Both of them.
SPEAKER_00You caught me red-handed. But what you say, Danny, is 100% true. And I think that a lot of times I think that a lot of I might be gonna say, oh, you know, for those women and some men that do that too, that put that title behind their name or their accolades, or maybe the stuff that they have or the income that they have, they really haven't been humble. And and that means that you haven't really traveled either. Because if if you travel and you go to some places and you see certain areas, it'll humble you to think like, oh, you think you're doing big? Oh, it's all there's always something more than what you think you are, you know what I mean? And that's a humbling experience. It doesn't mean that you're not good at what you do or anything like that, but it's always something more. And you have to be okay with that and humble yourself to where you're not throwing that in people's faces all the time. This is just like with cars. You know, you think you got a fast car, it's always another car faster than you. Oh, you think you got some money? Oh, go go go go down to uh, you know, South, go down to Miami, go look at some houses off the beach. Better don't even look at the house, look at the boat. Because all them houses, all them marked high million dollar houses have boats that are marked high million dollars. So, you know, it that's a very humbling experience if you think that you, and I'm I'm pretty well off, but it's a humbling experience to have an understanding of like, hey, you need to reframe how you define your excess and how you put it in people's faces, too. Because if you're always putting it in people's faces, you you're gonna get back what you're you're you're gonna get back what you you're given, that that negative, that that sour energy, you know. So I think a lot of people just need to be humble.
SPEAKER_03And I think just to jump off what Steve said, it's not that it's a knock against you, but when you're throwing it in somebody's face, because there's a lot of yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_02I said when you weaponize it, yes, it's a yes.
SPEAKER_03When you weaponizing the fact that you got this and you don't need no, you are shooting yourself in the foot and you're disqualifying yourself in the very thing that you're saying that you want more than anything else. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00Because it would be crazy if you say, I got this, I got that, I got this, I got that. The man look at you like, Oh, you don't need me and walk out. You don't need me.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's that's what that's what happens. I I know a guy who once a woman kind of read him and told him how she really felt about his disposition, what she felt was a disposition. That was his comment. Then then go marry yourself, then. If you don't need me, go marry yourself. Um, because I I again if if this is what it's gonna be like being married to you, I'm good. Um, and then being just being attractive alone is not enough. Just being smart alone or having or being accomplished, because just because you are accomplished doesn't mean you are smart. Um I personally know how I feel about degrees. I believe degrees have become necessary because our system has made us look for them, but they doesn't always mean a person has the sense God gave them. So if you can have 50 degrees and be stupid, just the biggest dummy in the room, the the dummy, the biggest dummy in the room. So it is that's why you have people who get these degrees and they have to still punch down on people because they still have moved up in their mind this ladder and they still feel insecure within themselves, so they punch down on you, they gotta prove a point. So if you are looking for a spouse or looking to partner up with someone, it's not gonna happen until, like you said, there's that level of accountability and humility that comes in, and that's for both men and women. But but I but you since we're talking about what women can do, that that accountability and stop leading with with the superficial, stop leading with uh so what men don't care.
SPEAKER_01How can they lead? I mean, what we're saying not to lead with superficial, you know, bodies and they were objectified to the point where you know maybe they felt that bodies was all that they were good for, or you know, yes, a lot of asset. But it's not the best asset. But like how can a woman lead and show that hey, I can be your peace, I can be your rest, you know, I can be your distressor. What what what things can that you've seen women do that will that we can expound upon or or you know big up so they they lead with that now. Just shut up, just shut up for once.
SPEAKER_00I'm just playing, I'm just playing, just playing, just playing. Just a little bit, just a little bit. And and we need to shut up too sometimes. Some you know what for for men let it go, just let it go. We I've been trying to tell a lot of you man, for the sake of peace in your marriage, let it go. Just let just let it go. And then for some for women, okay, I'm not gonna say shut up, but just be able to have an understanding. I know that y'all got a Bible verse for this. Be able to understand when you need to to pull your tongue or or or numb or or stop it. Just just stop. That's a no that's a quiet. Let him let him talk, let him get it out, and just be like, okay, dear, I'm here for that. Sometimes that's it. You don't show you. So it's okay. That's that's what we're looking for. That because that's sometimes that's our piece to be able to, hey, you know what? I just need you to listen. You need to hear, and sometimes men need to do that too. But a lot of times, like you're just saying, women are it's it's sometimes the roles have been reverses where they're just trying to prove their point too, and they're just trying to show I can I know this, I know that. I I know you do, honey. I I I know you do. And it's it's been a big um thing when talking to couples about, especially when we're talking to the couples when they're are they involved religiously um with things, when we're talking about the um head of the household, you know what I mean, and what does it mean for the man to be the head of the household? What does it mean for the woman to be submissive? Or what that's a very that's a that's a whole nother thing. But to be submissive doesn't mean you just gotta, you know, with your head down. Sometimes it's just just hey, I'm I'm pride in my tongue and I'm listening to you.
SPEAKER_03I I'll just jump in and say something Steve already said it's not that most men feel like they're hot and mighty, and it's not that we don't need help, it's your how. How you go about having these these necessary conversations and and interactions, it's it says everything. And I've I have I have been in situations with those who are highly skilled in this area, where it's just like hmm, I wonder if hmm. I actually appreciate how and I've also been in situations where there was a very low skill level, and when when somebody is in the middle of working through a challenging situation, when they're not able to hear what it is you're saying, or when they're just like it impacts your desire, it impacts your willingness to say, Hey, you know what, I want to do this for the rest of my life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, my life. You know what that it also impacts if I want to still have sex with you. Sometimes it's just like even if no, I don't even if you just keep on if it if it's just this is how it's gonna be, I I don't even I just want to get through the day, I don't even want to do that. You know what I mean? It'll get to it'll get to that point. You're right, you're 100% right.
SPEAKER_03We need we need the correction, we need the adjustment, we need the but but if it's done in a way that's emasculating, yeah. So like backfire to backfire. It's it's going to backfire because you are degreed or credentialed or you have like do we need to explain what what emasculation looks like from a man's point of view?
SPEAKER_01That's a good
What Emasculation Looks Like
SPEAKER_01question.
SPEAKER_00That's a really good question.
SPEAKER_01I mean, because you know, they might say, Well, I'm just challenging them, or you know, uh, you know, challenging to try to bring them up, but some guys may look at that as you have some guys who are very hypersensitive to any correction.
SPEAKER_02I like some cultures, yeah.
SPEAKER_01We're not talking about those guys, those those guys need need some help. We talking about the the guys that you know aren't don't have that problem. Like, so how do we explain what are some emasculating um tactics, you know, where one might think, well, I'm trying to encourage and motivate them. We're like, no, that's emasculating.
SPEAKER_03If if you have a you don't in it, um it's yeah, I think you you gotta kind of be careful. I I'm always a proponent of when you it made me feel. Uh when such and such happened, it made me feel, as opposed to you don't, you, you never, you like never.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03I told y'all the absolutes all the time. Yeah, don't get but particularly as it relates to emasculating, it's it's when there is language that supposes that that you have accomplished a level that's higher than he's been able to attain, if it's financially, if it's and so at the point that you're throwing that in his face, that is where um that that is where like it's not going well, it's not gonna end well at all. Um, and there's I've had conversations with many women in my folks like you can't say that to a man and and have him wanna stick around.
SPEAKER_01It's just like it's so what if they say, Well, why are you trying to mute me? Why are you trying to keep me from saying what I feel?
SPEAKER_02Well, you could say it, just not like that. I want to hear what I want to know what you um I work with when we don't want to know.
SPEAKER_03How do you go? I'm sharing it because we're not always gonna want to hear it, but we need to, but it's in your house.
SPEAKER_02It's in your house. Like we joke about it again. Another simbad reference. He talked about how his his mom could come out and motivate his dad. Look at my man on that roof, and he brings some Kool-Aid, and that's all. But she got that. She was saying she got he got well, he was saying she got him to do that roof, and he just out there happy, just her interaction with him matters. The women, the their interaction with us matters, how they say things matter. Yeah, you could have, as I always say, you can have the cure to cancer, but if you come to me and cuss me out to deliver it, all I hear is your tone. Because I I my kids, everybody in my house know, watch a tone.
SPEAKER_00You know, you know what? Let me let I'm gonna give you the Webster's uh definition. It says uh refers to the act of depriving a man of his masculine strength, confidence, power, or sense of control. While it originates from the literal Latin word for pastoration, is almost entirely used in modern context to describe social, emotional, or professional dynamics where someone feels disempowered or unmanly. Okay. So I would say, even for me listening to that that that uh definition, I would say things such as putting your hands on a man or trying to stop a man from leaving, because that that this that that point that disempowers me because I know that I shouldn't put my hands on you at all because I'm stronger than you and this is not gonna end well, or you're you're stopping me from being a man and leaving the situation, using my power to be able to to to be you know right in the situation and leave instead of it escalate. But then when you stop me of that, you're depriving me of that power. So I think those are like for me personally, those are two major things. If you start to get to the point to where you have disrespect me, so you're trying to you're trying to put your hands on me, or you're stopping me from diffusing this situation, you disempower me, you castrate me.
SPEAKER_03If you're making me feel like you can do all of this without me, that right there is what why would he want to continue to be in the situation? Men in general have to feel needed if if a man feels needed, usually he'll step up to the plate, or he's gonna go that makes him feel needed, he's gonna go to another plate.
SPEAKER_01So is it an ego thing? Like, are we talking about feeding a man's ego?
SPEAKER_03I don't know that it's I don't know. I'm just saying, I'm just bringing this.
SPEAKER_01I want to put it out there because I've heard some women say, Well, you know, well, you asking me to feed his ego, or you asking me to, you know, but but think about the butt but right, and think about that definition, it says a a loss of sense of control.
SPEAKER_00A man has a loss of sense of control, and and if we're supposed to be the providers, the protectors, the head of the household, and now I don't have control over my household that I'm the head of, and that loss of control could be, hey, you know what, this situation is out of control, and I can't get it back in balance, or I can't defuse this situation. Or now I'm faced with, hey, guess what? Now I've put my hands on you, and this is a situation out of my control because I know wouldn't normally do that. So I'm out of character. There's a sense of out of control where it's like I think that a lot of times a lot of people think like, hey, you know, emasculation means like, hey, you know what, you a B or you that, and just call him out his name in front of people. Yeah, yeah, that's that's disrespectful too, but it goes deeper than that to where it's like I a man can't be the head of his household, a man can't be the one that sets the tone for the house. Because you're stopping him from doing that. Is that there's limited?
SPEAKER_01The the essence, the very core of man is to provide, protect, um, and you know, just shield. If you're emasculating him, you're taking away just what makes a man a man. It's not about the amount of money he makes.
SPEAKER_03As you're talking, I just thought about it. Are you empowering him? That's it because with your words, a a masterful woman knows exactly how to empower man.
SPEAKER_02That was what I was trying to say with the example. She was able to empower him because she knew him and she knew how what would work.
SPEAKER_03Yes, and with the Bible says this life and death is in the power of the tongue. When you open up your mouth, are you empowering him? Because there's only one other alternative if your words are not building him up, and that's your words are tearing him down, and no man in his right mind will sit around and take that mess, but for so long.
SPEAKER_01Yep, yep. So, we're saying that uh a woman, one of the things that she can definitely do in order to set herself apart from the rest is have an empowering spirit.
SPEAKER_02Some women don't some women they're supposed to they don't have it. No, I'll I'm gonna be and they ain't gonna be by themselves. This is what they told me. I can't because like that I said, like Brian said, they can't I I can't keep blowing like you said, I his ego. I can't keep filling that up. I can't keep blowing that. He needs he needs to find a way to to empower himself because I'm tired.
SPEAKER_00He will find somebody that will do it for him.
SPEAKER_01He will but as men are the aren't we constantly pouring into their their need of feeling love? Hey baby, you look good, you look great, you know. I love you. Um, you know, and then the provision, uh providing home or providing safety, your car breakdown. Who's there? Who's there to fix it, who's there to take it? You know, you you know, you're scared, who's holding you? You know, just who's willing to stand in that gap? We're doing all that stuff, and what are we asking for from women is just to empower us, give us peace.
Affirmation, Love Languages, And Aging
SPEAKER_03Another word that's used for that is affirmation. Break that word down. Yeah, yes. I wonder the five love languages are mostly. I'm sorry. So is it so?
SPEAKER_01I'm wondering like the five love languages, you know, if affirmation is in like the top two or top three for men, you know, that's gonna be marriage. Physical touch, you got uh physical touch, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts.
SPEAKER_02I I believe that and quality time they oscillate because I believe in stages of life they oscillate because what in our 20s, a physical touch probably was the highest on everybody's list, right? As we get older, while we still appreciate it, don't get me wrong, we still appreciate physical. We surely do, yeah. But because we we we love peace so much, we don't want words of we or we want quality time with with no arguing, just us sitting here chilling together, because that's what I value now. I mean, the the the physical touch is gonna be there, but at this stage of life, it's not the same as when we were 20. So I think as we I think even with those, it's not like dead set, like this is your love language forever, and you can never experience anything else. I believe well, I know that I'm we oscillate, but we also we change as our needs change.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, think about this. When we are growing up, our our moms are affirming. So we got all the affirmation that we needed early on. Some you know, some situations, moms are usually the affirming ones, so we get that you know they might be hugging, so but you know, yeah, early on in life we want that physical touch because that's not something that we have access to. Because we have access to the affirming, to the um to the quality time, you know, with our family and friends. And but as we get older and those people that affirmed us constantly, those people that gave up their time, their quality time, as they begin to fade away, we're gravitating more away from physical into that affirmation because we're like we done fit not want to be physical doubt, but you know, sex just isn't that driver as it used to be as we get older, as y'all said. We've evolved, and so we need that affirmation, especially when the world is out there trying to devalue us in so many different ways. As you said, some guys are sitting in their driveway and for a moment of peace and quiet before they gotta go in and hear about what they did not do, what they were not able to accomplish, soon as they walk through. Um, and soon as they walk through the door. Soon as.
SPEAKER_00And I think that that there's also that um being able to have an understanding about, you know, even this this is for men too. Have an understanding that you will at a certain point in time is physical, if physical for men, if physical is all you're thinking about, and for women, if you think physical is all he needs and you're still whatever treating him like crap or the um emasculating him or whatever it may be, there comes a point in time in a man's life as he gets older where what they call it. Uh, sorry, I hope hopefully you don't um beep me, Brian. But it's what is it called? Post-nut clarity. After you get done doing what it is that you you you do, reality comes and sinks back in. Like, dang, why did I gotta hear her now? Dang, why did I do that? This I don't want to do, you know, it it comes back, it you know, as you get older, it it hits harder and harder and harder to reinforce you. Like, hey, I do, I don't, this is stupid. This is you know, for this, for the for this, however long this took of pleasure, I still have to go back into reality of this chaos. You know what I mean? So I have an understanding for men is that, like, hey, you know what, you're gonna get to a point to where this this moment of of flesh or this moment of of physical uh of happiness, you know, it it's gonna it's not gonna be enough. And for women, a woman to understand it, you know what, a man is gonna have those feelings of like, you know what, this this physicalness is not enough. Because at a certain point of time, as men, we feel like, hey, you know what? I can get this from anywhere. I can pay for this if I need to, you know.
SPEAKER_04I can take care of myself.
SPEAKER_00I can take care, and guess what? It that is the that's the safest sex in the world, ain't it? So at a certain point of time, it's like the physical is not going to be enough. It's not gonna go. It having peace is going to be above all else. So, you know, that that that physical it goes away. It goes away, but if you don't learn to harness it now, and having that understanding, it's gonna hurt and hurt every single time that you have that clarity. When it when you know after you've done it's like, damn, you know, what oh boy, should I have really done this? You know what I mean? Should I still be doing this? Or here she goes nagging already, or here he goes nagging already. You know, this can ego both goes both ways, but having an understanding, physical is not always the the the the top thing that's needed.
SPEAKER_01No, so before we wrap up, I want to say uh go, Danny.
SPEAKER_03So I was gonna say peace is not the absence of conflict. No, it's not that in order to have it, yes, yes, and so they to to to the argument that I uh you telling me I can't say nothing to no, it's not at all. He no we need earlier it's a different type of argument when you have a healthy relationship, healthy when you deal with what Steve said that he would do to that woman because uh they were able to interact. Did y'all hear what Steve said?
SPEAKER_00Steve said I'm about to ring the number that I'm about to put the number that I'm about to put on her hand, and we will see we can share it on the when it happens. I already have a number and keith keith, know I'm crazy. You are the number that I'm about to put on her hand is because just that, and the the the important piece that connects all of this is when you're talking to a man, time and place for everything and how you say it. True. Time and and I just had this conversation with a couple, it's like if we're arguing at a store or at a club or anything like that in the midst of the situation, no, we don't have to get to the bottom of this right now. Time and place, and that shows maturity. Because if you, as my woman, don't understand that there's a time and place for everything, and we just gotta have it out here and now every other time, that's chaos for me. But if you understand, like, hey, you know what? I know we was feeling a certain way in the store or in the club or whatnot, we had home right now, or this the next day. Hey, I know we've calmed down a little bit, let's talk about it. Oh, okay. I'm I'm more apt to hear what you got to say at this point. Because I know now that you are thinking about not just me, but you're thinking about you and the longevity of us staying together. You don't want to be striped all the time. Because I always tell somebody there's no point of arguing in the midst of the situation, because at any point in time, has anybody, has most couples ever just Said, oh, you know what? You right, and I'm wrong. That's never happened. It's never happened for anybody. So I just antagonizing something.
SPEAKER_02Just to sit back.
SPEAKER_03No, I gotta talk about it now. I gotta talk about it now.
SPEAKER_01All right, so as we wrap up, um, I will say this, and I'll give the guys a chance to give parting words and final thoughts.
Final Advice And Closing Laughs
SPEAKER_01Um, ladies, if for hundreds of years, I'm gonna say it while they're laughing because it's not for them to hear. Oh my god, as you know, if if seven women are showing their chest in their butt wearing something super tight, be that eighth woman that isn't, because you're gonna get noticed for not doing what the world has said is the norm. And then hopefully, you know, you have that conversation and you lead with peace. You lead with you know a clear mind understanding. These guys are idiots. These guys are idiots. We can't be serious here today. You know, just going to give some parting words, final thoughts, because it's this is this is sad. We we were on we our train was getting right to the station, and somehow Danny found a way to derail.
SPEAKER_02I told y'all, y'all see y'all blame me. Told y'all, it's not just me.
SPEAKER_01It is not just we got bit we got video of you oiling the tracks. Danny just said, you know, just take it.
SPEAKER_02Take the wheel.
SPEAKER_00I didn't do it today. That's the end of the state. I remember that now. I remember that so vividly.
SPEAKER_02That's all they was quotes in, man. The legend, man. And they just I want to talk about it now. Nah, I'm gonna talk about it now. I'm gonna talk about it right. Nah, my other favorite.
SPEAKER_03That's why he got divorced.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03But then they were able to let me just take this down for a second.
SPEAKER_01Let y'all get it out. Are you already getting on?
SPEAKER_02The two guys, you the guys, two guys in the car, Mr. Turn. Oh man, we missed that turn. Turn around.
SPEAKER_03Oh man versus now. I have a headache now.
SPEAKER_01I hope someone sends us to sin band so he knows how influential he was to my generation.
SPEAKER_02He don't even know. Oh my god. He side note, and this might be my part words. Out of all the counseling I got going into marriages, I think his stand-up was probably the thing that helped me understand so much how it works, how it works. So we laugh about it, we joke about it, but his honesty about his marriage and about his life, it you I can't say many of us didn't repeat a lot of what he went through. Even down to I'll walk home, I walk home. You better not let her walk.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, that is so true.
SPEAKER_03You don't act like y'all ain't never been in that situation before.
SPEAKER_01I surely have. I've given the car and I said I'll walk. Now I remember walking away. You're like, here, you take the keys, uh, you be safe, I'll get there eventually.
SPEAKER_03Sinbad was a prophet of the most high. Yeah, still it he was guiding us. This is the way he was guiding, yes, yeah. So I I'll say if I have to give parting words, my my my thoughts would be with if you're looking for, especially if you're looking for a high value man, understand that with every interaction that you have, you're either um, you're either building up and empowering him, or you're either tearing him down and emasculating him. Life and death is the power of the tongue. And so you are you are on display in those interactions when he needs to hear from you, but how he hears from you will determine how long you stick around to be able to interact with that man, yeah.
unknownTrue.
SPEAKER_00I want to piggyback on that for my parting words before I bust out laughing again. But with that as well, being able to master um having an understanding, the time and place for everything to talk. I think that's very key. That's very key. Everything doesn't have to be talked about right then and there. It's I know we're laughing about you know the sin back thing, but it's it's it's it's crucial to having an understanding. There is a time and place for everything, and you don't always have to prove your point. You know, I've it's so many couples out here that are act like attorneys in a courtroom. Stop it. It's not necessary. This is your teammate, not your adversary. So time and place for everything, and you know, um have you know, making just make sure that you know this is your teammate and stop trying to always prove a point. Because if she loses, you lose. If he loses, you lose as well.
SPEAKER_02Uh that's true, very true. And y'all supposed to be on the same team. So in these relationships. But my last parting words, uh, I guess for tonight today would be lead with character, meaning intelligence, uh, patience, lead with peace, all the things we talked about. Uh find a way to not give everything right away, give everything right away. Um, yes, he may notice your physical attraction, your physical beauty, but that's superficial. And it and uh in in this life, as we get older, it changes. I mean, I'll just be honest. We don't look like we look when we're teenagers for a reason. Doesn't mean you'll be old and ugly, but it does mean that you will have to have more after the sex is over. You're gonna want to someone you can have a conversation with, um, someone you can raise children with. Um, as you get older, you want somebody again who know your meds and keep them in her keep in the purse. So um again, these are things that that I I heard from a comedian that now as as I get older, I I I emphasize. So if you're looking for a relationship, look for substance, and you're gonna you're gonna go through you're gonna kiss some toes. There are gonna be some guys who who just want to have sex with you, and that sucks because you're gonna really like some of them. Don't be afraid to discard, move on to the next. That person that is looking for you is out there, uh, or that you just or he may not be, he may just be chilling out of his business, but you match so much better, and you're willing to actually take the time to get to know each other because sometimes that's what it takes, too. This Disney Hollywood love at first sight. I I saw him, and and that moment I knew I saw her. Now, for some people, they may they may feel that, but that doesn't mean they were going to be a good wife or a good husband or a good companion. That just means they made you moist. So focus on the goal.
SPEAKER_00You can't say that word, man. You can't say moist. If he can say that, I can talk about no just say it.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, we'll we'll allow Keith, we'll allow what Keith said.
SPEAKER_04I'm not objecting your out.
SPEAKER_01No, not even gonna go there. All right, so this has been the iron table where iron sharpens iron, so should men sharpen men. No, no, mm-mm. I'm ending recording now before we get censored.
SPEAKER_04I wanted to say something else.
SPEAKER_01No, you you nothing else. Nothing else. All right, everyone. Peace.
