The Iron Table
The Iron Table
Leadership Illusion: Why She's Not on Board
This episode explores the essence of true leadership beyond titles, emphasizing the inner qualities and personal growth necessary for leadership in all areas of life. The hosts discuss the importance of self-leadership, fostering trust in relationships, and the collaborative nature of effective leadership, offering reflections and insights as they prepare for 2025.
• Reflections on personal growth and experiences throughout season four
• The evolving definition of leadership: qualities over titles
• Importance of self-leadership before guiding others
• The role of effective communication and vulnerability in relationships
• Challenges faced by men in defining their leadership roles
• Shared leadership dynamics and mutual trust in partnerships
• The need for humility and openness to feedback in leadership
• Learning from the past year to prepare for a meaningful 2025
Thank you for being with us this year and we look forward to bringing you more engaging discussions in 2025!
Welcome to the Iron Table where iron sharpens iron, so should men sharpen men. I am your host, bryant Goddine, and I'm joined by my brothers, keith, danny and Steve. We're your waiters, serving you accountability and truth. We now bring you to our program already in progress. Welcome to the Iron Table. Iron sharpens iron. So does men sharpens men. According to the intro, it should be Keith, danny and Steve, but we do not know where Danny is. We're not going to try to find him. He's a grown man. He can find himself.
Speaker 1:We are at the end of season four, so this is kind of a recap and what will happen for what we've gone through this year and what do we look forward to next year. So before we get into that, of course, I got to check in with my brothers, keith and Steve, and just see how have things been. The last time we talked was before Thanksgiving. So hopefully you're out of your turkey coma, that you made it through the Christmas season, that you made it through the Christmas season and that you're looking forward to 2025. So just give us a little update before we get into the shenanigans or heenanigans. Just go from there.
Speaker 2:Everything's been chill man, Everything's been definitely very good man, Definitely been blessed and just kind of learning to slow down a little bit. You know what I mean. When you have access to everything, sometimes you get nothing done, man. So just trying to learn to slow down and stuff and just take in what you can take in.
Speaker 1:You can't take in everything All right. True, just enjoying the holiday.
Speaker 4:All right, true, no man Just enjoying the holiday, just enjoying the holiday Having a moment.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 4:Steve said slow down.
Speaker 1:Cool. Well, a lot has changed since the last time we recorded, when I cut my hair because my friends did not tell me how stupid I look with a 1970s high top fade. That's all 80s and 90s it was bad. Why do you say it was stupid? It was stupid? I don't think it was bad.
Speaker 4:You know, if I said it was stupid, I'll tell you no, you wouldn't because you didn't, I wouldn't because I didn't think it was stupid. Again, I liked your head, but if I thought your head looked stupid, I'll tell you.
Speaker 1:You. Let me go out and play basketball with a black eraser on top of my head and I tried everything. You know what?
Speaker 4:I mean when wish they could grow that. Nah man, wear it If it grows and it's clean and it's healthy and it's neat rock it.
Speaker 1:You can wish, but you don't have to do it, and I mean I.
Speaker 2:God, make that choice for me.
Speaker 1:And I couldn't wear a hat. If I wear a hat, it just. I've been with that I've been with that what is it? Ear muffs and I was like it's just too much. And nobody, nobody told me, so I don't know if I really have friends or brothers, just let me be me. I was like it's time for it to go.
Speaker 1:And so the first thing I did was just check to make sure my scalp was the same color as my face, because it had been a while since it had seen the sunlight. Then there was that basketball game where a young man.
Speaker 1:You know, we out there, iron table, has its own church league basketball team and we we own four. But we are also dads and people who are well within our, our professions. And this young, I want to say he might've been 1920. The game was over. I think we were down by like 10 and he decided that he wanted to dunk on me. He did not accomplish his goal and the ref had to call the game. All I remember was putting my hands out, but apparently I might've put my hands out with the same force that he had trying to come to the lane, and the game was called Young people, you cannot dunk on old people.
Speaker 1:We, we grew up with Patrick Ewing, I mean, where people actually tried to defend a dunk. Now, since we're not jumping, we're just going to push you. We're not advocating violence, we're just going to push you. But yeah, that's, that's been about it. So cut the hair and yeah, so we're at the end. And this has been, this has been a great season, season four we've made some strides. We're trying to use technology to drum up interest, learned of a new program where AI kind of just takes over. You know, we got too many other things to do in our profession. Either we're talking to our friends for hours upon hours not getting co-pay, so I will never, I will never do what Steve and Keith does.
Speaker 1:I see now why I don't want to talk much, but we got something good going and I'm hoping that next year we're able to just take another step forward. We've definitely reached over 500 downloads since the inception of the Iron Table, which was this season four. So, ethan, I started this what four years ago.
Speaker 4:I mean, my mama probably did about 250, though Probably yeah, because I was asking her, like you watching.
Speaker 1:Oh, I forgot y'all did it. But we've got some faithful people that have subscribed and, you know, will give comments and I think next season we plan on trying to do this thing live and just just roll with where it rolls. And I got my, got my sensor button ready, you know, just in case things get a little a little spicy, start using this.
Speaker 2:I can't wait. I can't wait.
Speaker 1:I call it my Steve button you didn't call it your.
Speaker 4:Keith button.
Speaker 1:You didn't call it, your Danny button oh yeah, you know, he has definitely said some stuff that we everyone has looked at the screens like well, we about to get canceled, yeah, we have no sponsors, All right, so 2025 is around the corner.
Speaker 1:We've talked everything from politics to relationship goals, accountability to just leadership, and one of the common things that's been running around, at least with me and talking to various people, is about true leadership and if that is something gained by status or if that's something within and you know, I believe you know you can be a leader as soon as you step into a room. It doesn't mean that you own that room. It just means that it is the qualities that are within you, and I believe in the higher power of God, you know, put you know us in a leadership role. Even I believe women can also lead. Let me make sure I say that Women can definitely lead in areas, but the responsibility of the totality of leadership falls upon men. So if a man feels as though he is not a leader as to To men who are have counseling therapy, I'll talk to a lot of people what can a man do in order to reinvigorate the leadership I? Can a man lose his identity, lose his leadership, and if so, how can he regain it?
Speaker 1:That's a really good question. I don't feel like I'm a leader.
Speaker 4:Well, you may not be. I mean, the reality is, what does that word mean and what does it mean to actually do it? We speak on it as it's like me saying I'm a fisherman but I've never fished a day in my life. To say that I'm a leader and I haven't been taught to lead and I've never led anybody and I never have been in, I've never been in that position to lead. But then be told you're a leader, you have to know what this role is.
Speaker 4:I think sometimes we do ourselves a disservice because we have a lot of men who are told, who have a lot of expectations on their heads or on what they're supposed to be doing, and it's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't know how. So it's not even about losing it. Some, some people have never had it to lose, but now they're in a position where it's required or expected and they got to figure it out and they're learning on the fly and it's not easy and you're going to, you're going to, you're going to mess up. So it takes a level of patience to even figure out what that means, which is why it takes a level of patience to even figure out what that means, which is why we need to focus on providing that counsel to the young men who are, who want to be in this role prior to marriage, prior to relationship, like, the dating phase is where you learn to lead as a child, as a kid.
Speaker 4:This learning to lead yourself, that's number one. That's like that's learning to lead yourself. Forget everybody. One. That's like that's learning to lead yourself. Forget everybody else. That's step one, because so, oh my gosh, there's so much to this. But yeah, my point is, yes, you can lose it and you, and sometimes you can't lose it because you never had it to lose right, you know, I think that it's also you got to look at in what capacity or what is it that you're trying to.
Speaker 2:How can I say lead, not what, but what is it that you're, what's your overall goal when you're talking about leading? Because, again, a lot of times in life that we feel, I think, a lot of times people feel like, oh, if you're not a leader, you're not important. If you're not a leader, you know it's something wrong with you, you're not in a particular status or whatnot. If you're not a leader, and I feel like sometimes you're not a leader all the time in your entire life. Now, I mean, it depends if, if you're a father, your husband, yeah, definitely you know. You know for a man, it definitely you are leading in those particular examples. But when we're talking about also, you know, in your career, friends, x, y, z, you may not be leading all the time, and a lot of times that when we feel like we need to be leading all the time, we really we don't accomplish what it is that we really need to accomplish. And we also need to see where are we leading people to? You know, what is it that we? You know, are we? Are we put in a position.
Speaker 2:Sometimes in our lives as in a career, we're supposed to be leading people to something, but we may not even be passionate about the things that we're supposed to be leading them, to be leading them to, you know. So then, how can I be an effective leader if I'm not even passionate, or I don't even really care that much to about the subject, to lead the people to that particular subject? You know, so it's, it's, it's a lot, it's very dynamic when we're talking about leadership and the thought thereof of. You know, I have to be a leader, or do I even feel passionate about what I'm leading people to? So can you be a leader? Or do I even feel passionate about what I'm leading people to?
Speaker 1:so can you be a leader without the title?
Speaker 4:yeah, of course. Of course there's a lot of people for agencies and work for people. There's people who have the title and make the money, but they're not doing steve and I work places like so then.
Speaker 1:So then, why is it important? You know, so then why is it important? You know where I got to be. You know I'm the leader of the home. I've got to be the leader.
Speaker 2:You know we keep saying it. Is it that we don't believe it, that we keep saying it or that we're trying? Sometimes you got to feel important when maybe you know that sometimes you want to. Sometimes some people that are not doing what they should supposed to be doing, you want to feel important instead of doing the actual work if that makes any sense.
Speaker 2:So sometimes we want to get in those roles of, like, I'm important, I'm just that and a third. But it's harder to actually do the work of actually leading without it's harder to do that than actually, you know, going to other type of just saying I'm a leader or making the appearance I'm a leader Because people can talk all day and sit up there and you know we can say somebody's a leader or a CEO, Say, for instance, of a company. You go and do the best presentations, the best you know, the best talks and give the best appearance of the company. But if your company is not doing well, if your employees don't I mean they feel a certain way about you, If you know, if they're not motivated or whatnot, you know what are you really doing? Are you just a mascot? At this point, you know. So again, being able to lead, sometimes you know nothing wrong.
Speaker 2:I've seen leaders, just you know, take a back seat. Sometimes being a leader is you being in the room and you're not the loudest one, or you're listening. Sometimes a leader has to listen and that's one thing that I picked up on in several jobs where we were going through the pandemic and I was wondering. I was listening to other companies talk about how their CEO was actively working, talking with their employees, calling their employees hey, how's everything going with you? I know this pandemic is X, Y and Z. I just want to check on you, I just want to make sure you're okay.
Speaker 2:And then other CEOs just not doing anything. But again, think about it, that's what made that difference. And then now me as an employee looking at you as now my leader right, Because now I think like, hey, you're invested. You're not just invested in this company, but you're invested in me. So guess what? Now I'm going to do what I need to do in my job to make you look good and make this company look good, because now I see that you're invested in me and that in of itself makes a good leader, the one that can show their people that they're leading, that, hey, you are important to me as a leader. I may be up here, but you're still important, and a lot of people just don't get that.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this, because you know, and I like that you said that they invest. But what if? Ok, I'm reaching out, I'm listening, I'm doing it, I'm making the cold calls and I'm showing that I'm invested in you, but then I turn around and make a decision that you aren't in agreement with. Does that make me less of a leader, or does that?
Speaker 4:part of it.
Speaker 1:So leadership doesn't always need 100 percent buy in leadership.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's part of the game. Yeah, no, you make it.
Speaker 4:You need enough Like we talked about this before we joked about it. Like I couldn't have been one of Martin Luther King's leaders, I could not say okay, we're going to sit and get bitten by these dogs and spray with these hoses. I would have made a terrible leader for that.
Speaker 1:You're in the back of the buttons. I can't put you on the front line of non-violent protests.
Speaker 4:There are certain things. You got to know your limits as a leader. You got to know your. I can't put you on the front line of nonviolent. There's certain things. You got to know your limits as a leader. You got to know your limits. But there are certain things that you will be expected to do as a leader and that's what makes it hard, because I call it part of it. Most of that was I call it it had to do with. But because Moses, when you look back at Moses in the Bible, he, he was in a tough predicament. He had God who he couldn't tell no, and he also was working with the people like I love God and I hate these people, but you want me to lead these people, you want me to lead them out of the wilderness and all they do is complain, cry and get on my nerve.
Speaker 4:And so Moses told the people no, a lot of times. He even went up, he came down with the first set of tablets. What these people doing, acting, the daggone fool, the people he leading, that he told wait right here, I'm going up there. Got to talk to God real quick. We got to have a conference, a conference meeting, and I'm going to come back down and we're going to keep going, keep this trip going. While he's gone, they lost their mind. His own brother.
Speaker 1:His own brother as a leader.
Speaker 4:Now God got you know God didn't approve Like he lost his temper because of it. He lost his temper Now we could talk about it. You know we could talk about it. You know we could talk about if he had the right to do or not the right, but I bet someone got hit with that tablet. That's what I'm trying to. We know he had temper.
Speaker 4:He could have possibly broken it over somebody's head For all we know, but he was mad. But he was still in a position where he still had to be a leader and I'm sure it did not go the way people liked, but they understood. Y'all messed up, or? I'm trying to help us get to where we need to be, so shut up, stop complaining and come on.
Speaker 1:So, dan, we're talking about leadership and the qualities of a leader, and do you necessarily need to one have the title to be a leader or to have, I would say, 100 buy-in or approval of those you you are leading? You know we're talking about outside the home, but when it we're going to have to transition to inside the home to see what, because there's a lot of brothers out there that may not understand what true leadership is. I was talking to one of my friends and I told him. I said I, growing up, I did not know what love was. I knew what codependency was.
Speaker 1:I was definitely taught with that in growing up and seeing that in my home, that in my home I didn't understand what love was until I started talking to people outside of my immediate family to really understand, like, what sacrifice was, what equality or look like what fairness, look like and how you know it's. It's really. It's never a level playing, it's. I look at it as like a seesaw Sometimes I'm up, she's down, sometimes she's up I'm down, and it's just a constant, it's just constantly fluid. But I didn't get that until I was able to say to myself Brian, you do not understand how to lead, how to love, how to really understand, and once I did that, then my mind was open to receiving those traits in order to understand, you know, leadership, so that's kind of where we're. I'm trying to go to taking like what we see on the outside is leadership, and how do we transition that into our relationships, into our home, both as fathers, as boyfriends, as husbands, and you know any other relational leadership that we?
Speaker 1:have you know we're trying to close out 2024 on a on a note of leadership leading us into 2025.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, if I can just jump in and say that, I think that leadership internally is so much more difficult, and I'll reference somebody that many of us know and grew up with, whose whose wife told him that you Superman out there, but you Clark Kent in here. You know I'm talking about. Admittedly, he tells the story publicly. He's in pastoral ministry, he was in pastoral ministry Now he's just focused on leading men.
Speaker 3:But it's much more difficult to lead internally because these people see you for who you really are, how you. You know your, your, your flaws, your weaknesses, your mistakes and, um, you you can't hide very well from the people who you live with, who see you very well, from the people who you live with, who see you and, yeah, you just can't, they're going to see you as it is. And I think that even still, most of us who didn't grow up seeing the biblical model of house, band and father who knew what he was doing in the home, we didn't have that example to be able to teach us, to be able to show us, and because of that, oftentimes we got into our own home, didn't know what to do, didn't know how to lead, like who teaches you that? And so you end up in a situation where you're trying to tell somebody what to do and they're like what you talking about and you have division. And what do you do with that? You're trying to lead, you're trying to be something that you've never really seen before.
Speaker 4:And, be honest, most of us wouldn't want to follow that either. Yeah, when we've had supervisors come in that know less than us, they want to give us directions.
Speaker 2:Oh, don't start, Keith. Please don't start, oh Jesus.
Speaker 4:I know I meant that I said that for a reason, because I know I got my finger ready for the sensor button. Warm up that button. I got my finger ready for the sensor button. Warm up that button, warm it up man yeah, so we've been in those positions. So if I can sympathize and empathize for a lot of families that are struggling with this, I better understand what it's like for someone to say I'm the leader and you need to follow me, and it's like, okay, well, where are we going? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Where do you think we should go?
Speaker 2:See that in of itself, understanding, thinking about, just thinking about what it is to be a leader, that there is a, there's a, there's a smidgen of responsibility when we're talking about I want to be a leader, or you designate yourself as a leader, because we're human. Regardless if you're a leader, emperor, president, whatever it means, whether you're a family, whether outside the corporate, whatever it may be, you are human. Outside the corporate, whatever it may be, you are human. But if you know that you are in some capacity a leader, whether it be a husband, boyfriend, boss, whatever it may be, right, you do know that.
Speaker 2:Hey, yeah, I can make some mistakes, but there's some mistakes that I should not make. As a husband, as a boyfriend, as a father, as a preacher, as a boss, there's certain things that you should not do, and that's where then we told the line of hey, am I an effective leader? Because at a certain point in time, I can expect a preacher that's a leader to make a mistake, such as oh, you know what? Maybe some of the funds I didn't know this was, we didn't pay this, we didn't pay that, but we're making. I can expect some mistakes as a human being, but when we're making the mistakes of sleeping with people in our congregation that's not a mistake.
Speaker 1:No, that's a choice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah, you see, I just slept with a single.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh, look at that. I overspent on the Christmas budget.
Speaker 2:You're not a, you're not a but as a husband, as a boyfriend, as fathers hey, oh, you know what? I forgot to pay this bill. We're going to have to pay a little bit extra for the. Okay, yeah, got it. Oh, hey, babe. Babe, come get me from the jail. I was, I was drinking and driving and I smashed into another car. X? Y. There's certain responsibilities as a leader of things that we should not do, that we know that. Hey, you know what? There's people not only looking up to me, but there's people that I have to leave in my family. So there's certain things I cannot do at all as this role.
Speaker 1:It's what causes a lot of people to break.
Speaker 4:Look at that. I know, and I say that because I know a lot of people who are.
Speaker 1:The term is PKs or preachers kids and some others who've grown up with a lot of that pressure.
Speaker 2:That because I wear this, this weight upon my back, I can't. I have to be flawless, which causes me to drift closer to the flaws but you think about most.
Speaker 1:Hold on, if you know, because when leaders, when leaders have any gas, their gas are usually when it's about self, not about the for the collective. You know. Think of every leadership failure. It has been about that one person either wanting fame, glory, money, or it was something that they just had to have that no one else could have, or it was something that they just had to have that no one else could have. I mean, we even go biblical. Look, we got David. I mean he was a leader but his gap was wanting someone else's woman and the length that he had to go through in order to cover up his tracks. You know that a truly that was one gaffe and I and I'm glad that you know higher power looks at this individual and not over the totality that one thing didn't say that he was no longer a leader, it was just okay, cause that was my question.
Speaker 4:Because he's a leader, he not going to have these temptations? No, I guess my point is because he's a leader, these temptations no, I guess my point is because he's a leader, I see it being more of these situations. That's the one that was written about and that we know. If David was out there causing these women, there might be more to his story. And I'll put it this way and I hate to use this example, but it's the only one that comes to mind we have the version of MLK that we've been given all these years and then, all of a sudden, we learned as we got older that there was another.
Speaker 1:I'm not letting you talk about MLK, I'm not letting you talk about MLK.
Speaker 4:Did that stop him from being a leader?
Speaker 2:No, but Did that stop him from being a leader? No, but.
Speaker 1:Because it came out later, but if it came out during that time, yeah, if it came out during that time yeah, if it was social media during that time, he would not have been the leader.
Speaker 4:Well, they would have stopped him from leading. He could have still again. He still did it. We just didn't know what was going on behind closed doors, allegedly but the capacities in a man's life that they're leading.
Speaker 2:Yes, I lead a society, or I lead my people in this way. I lead my family in another way. So, in one way, hey, society could maybe never care less, or X, y and Z, but, you know, with his wife or his children looking at or maybe knowing that, hey, you know, maybe brother's getting down on the side with somebody else At that point, how did that then affect them and how they looked at him as not just a leader of this movement but a leader of, hey, you're my father, hey, a leader of you're my husband, you know. So they themselves may look at that totally different, because they are closely affected by his leadership, like that, you know not where we're talking about these other things, but they're affected by his leadership. Just point blank.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So then, is it more important to be a leader at home, or where your influence is one, two, depending on how many are in your family or your significant other, or is it better to be a leader outside, where there's more influence and it can go further?
Speaker 3:Yeah, for me, I'm going to go ahead with you know, at home. I think that that has the potential to bleed over into the other areas of life because, like I mentioned a little while ago, like these are people that see you for who you really are mentioned a little while ago like these are people that see you for who you really are and um you. It's hard to hide from the people who see you day in and day out. They, your kids, will tell you. I used to know as a teacher as well what, what my students thought of me, because they will impersonate you. They will do like that you. You you'll get all manner of. You'll learn about yourself like I say that.
Speaker 3:That's how I do oh wow, you'll learn what they think about you. Um, because, like you can't hide it, like it's, it's there and I believe personally that any influence you have outside of the house you could. I would argue that it's the most important piece. There are some business men who will say I'm not doing business with somebody who's not taking care of business at home, who doesn't have their house in order, who doesn't have their house in order, who doesn't have a relationship with one woman who's taking care of his responsibilities as a father. I'm not doing business with them because if they're not taking care of their business at home, like the word says, if you're not taking care of your own, you're worse than depending on what version of the Bible you read, but worse than the heathen. You got to take care of home base.
Speaker 3:That's the most important thing, god wasn't mad at Eli because he was a bad priest. He was mad because he was a bad father. He wasn't taking care of his responsibilities. Where, where he could have done more, we could have done better. He ain't say nothing about what he did as a priest. It was like yo you what you doing with your sons in your house. I can't rock with that, even though the people still respect you as the priest. That's my argument.
Speaker 1:Oh, and I was going to be like what happens if you know home says you suck, but outside says you're good. Like, do you do you just like? Man home, just mad because I'm not doing what they want me to do outside? That's where I need I get my fulfillment and my refill of energy. As men, are we losing the focus? I hear y'all saying home, home, home. But if home is the toxic, Home is toxic.
Speaker 4:I'm waiting to get here. I'm waiting to get here. Come on now.
Speaker 4:Come on because, everybody, everybody who's screaming for leadership. Some people don't want to be led, that's just some people don't want to be led, or some people not gonna like how you lead, no matter what you do. Oh and so sometimes, sometimes, yes, you can consider home, but got to like I tell people you got to consider the messenger, because if I give, say you want ice cream and I give you ice cream and you still don't like it. You say you want candy, I give you candy, you still don't like it. I'm doing everything to make you happy and you still don't like it, then I got to consider the sport.
Speaker 4:It's too cold, I want some candy. It's too cold, it's too cold, the candy too sweet, so I got to consider. So if it's something I'm just not doing again, pull my coat tail. But there are times. There are times that there are people being led that really don't want to be led or they don't. They will never be content with the leadership, and it's not just. And if you pay attention to some of these people, you'll notice they're not content with any leadership. They are contentious with anybody who's supposed to be directing them to wherever they have to be Teachers, supervisors, pastors. Some people are just contentious. That way I don't like I hear it. I've heard a lot of young people tell me don't like authority. They grow up to be adults who don't like authority and they don't want you to feel. They don't want to feel like you're telling them what to do or how to dress I've had conversations.
Speaker 2:I've told people in my family and this has started many arguments that I've told them. I said you would argue with Jesus, wouldn't you? Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:You would argue with Jesus, yeah, and actually that's what he said when he was talking about. He said John the Baptist. He came fasting and you said that he had a demon Right Son of man comes eating and drinking and you say he's a glut. He had a demon Right Son of man comes eating and drinking and you say he's a glutton. A friend of Texas. It don't matter what, you're going to have something to say either way, so I might as well just do what I'm here to do, but I would argue that those people who just don't like authority vast majority of them in my experience- had daddy issues.
Speaker 1:I just saw an F no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3:The vast majority of them, in my experience, had daddy issues. I just saw an F. No, no, no.
Speaker 1:The vast. I thought I saw an F.
Speaker 4:You ain't on the button. I'm on the button, but you're not on the button.
Speaker 1:But no, you were saying vast majority Okay.
Speaker 3:Of them have daddy issues, some of them got mommy issues, but vast majority of them. If you got problems with authority, nine and a half times out of ten is because you were not fathered in a way that would have fostered that respect for authority.
Speaker 2:Respect.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's a foreign word, it's a foreign word nowadays All right now in the detention facility we talked about that.
Speaker 4:A lot of them never had a male figure who say go to bed, turn the lights off until they got locked up and then they have a choice. But they would get so angry with these youth workers or junior correction officers. They would get so angry with them because they've never had a male, unless it was confrontational. Tell them what to do. So now, when you become these adults, yes, it becomes a situation where you still carry that anger and you don't realize that that stern masculine energy. Godly, I dare say it's because God says no, god says to that hey, go sit down and collect yourself Fast and pray.
Speaker 4:And it is not always lovey-dovey, you know leadership.
Speaker 1:God says no, but he still allows us to still do it. What's that I mean? God says no, but we still have freedom to do it. We just gotta be prepared for the consequences.
Speaker 4:And that's really it, and they have a problem with again consequences because they're kicking people out of the garden to eat.
Speaker 3:It's just like, yeah, I still love you, but you got to go somewhere.
Speaker 1:I told someone that God is the only entity that can handle the consequences of us following his, his decisions, consequences of us following his, his decisions. So, whatever happens, he is the only one that can handle all consequences if we choose to follow his orders. But I gotta ask this question because y'all said people who don't want to be led. What if you are in a relationship with someone who does not want to be led? What do you do? All, all right, my finger is on this button. Okay, you got two things to say, nope.
Speaker 3:Let me do it again, let me do it again, let me do it again.
Speaker 1:You got to say something because people might not be able to see.
Speaker 3:The deuces, the deuces bruh.
Speaker 2:There's a way about it, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah there is Y'all telling people just to cut it and just leave it. Hold on.
Speaker 3:We got three people who've been divorced talking here. Let's go one by one.
Speaker 1:Go around the circle.
Speaker 3:Who got first? I got next, who got first?
Speaker 2:Y'all go ahead look, there's a difference. There's a difference between somebody saying I just just flat out, I'm not listening to, or listening to anything you say, versus I hear what you're saying, but I see this over here too. Let's talk about this, because a part of a good leader is also being able to listen to those who you're trying to lead. You know, you cannot also think that you are the the end, all be all of knowledge and what things should be. Being able to effectively listen to the person that you're trying to lead and understand what sometimes their goals are, too, is part of that, and especially in a relationship. It's part of that, and especially in a relationship, it's part of a partnership. And when I say partnership, it's because sometimes, guess what I'm going to be leading.
Speaker 2:Yes, for the majority, most of the time, yes, as a man, that's our head of household. We control a lot when it comes to the control of energy, emotion, all those particular things. We can control that. But also there's going to be some times where I need you to lead me in ways of hey, you know, if I'm not on my A game, if there's certain things that I don't know, guess what? I'm going to allow you to lead me because, guess what, we are a partner in this and if there's only one person leading this, at the end of the day, when we talk about to death, do us part. We go to them, pearly gates, and we're looking at God and he's looking at hey, how did you like your marriage?
Speaker 2:I loved it. She did everything I wanted her to do. She's like, hey, you know what? I didn't get to do this, I didn't get to do that. I didn't feel hurt, I didn't feel like this. Is that husband going to be able to say to God, you know, is God going to be able to say to that husband you know, good job, you did what you, you what you did what I asked you to do as a husband to a wife.
Speaker 1:You know, steve, I don't know what side of the coin you are on sometimes. Sometimes it's, I hear, the partnership and the communication, but then there's also the. I need the dirty, grimy steve to like I'm not getting that.
Speaker 2:Here's the thing Y'all mentioned something earlier about not being able to like.
Speaker 2:If you're younger and you don't have that male either role model, that male presence to you know, instill some fear, of faith, fear or respect. Everything happens for a reason and for certain things that you do not have in your life, god will make for you. There's a reason why I went to the military, like right after high school instead of right into college because I didn't have that male role model. If I did not go into the military and learn some discipline and get that fear, get that respect, not just for me but just out of people in general, my emotionally I would be out here just acting a fool, you know. So everything happens for a reason for, like to put things into perspective, hey, now I do have not only respect for just other men but just just human beings in general. You know, not just a fear, but it's that respect that you should give everybody.
Speaker 2:Because there was a while I was like man, who's this man? Yelling at me, who the F are you? Who is you? You know, I never had that. To be honest with you, I never really had that fear of you know. You know. Oh, dad, come on this, that and the third no, I never had that. It's like, it's like it's. It's foreign to me. But understanding now growing up and feeling like, hey, you do fear and respect go hand in hand when it comes to being able to to live with human beings, because you have to be able to fear that, hey, you know what this, x, y, there's consequences. So I'm going to have to respect this person, just like I want them to fear the consequences and respect me as well If they were to do something.
Speaker 1:All right. So Steve says we need to communicate.
Speaker 2:All right, danny said I got next, so All right, but yeah, because he just said, just just.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, no, no. I do not believe that first reaction is lead because behind every frustrated, like partner is somebody who's you usually have two good people who are just on two separate pages. Vast majority of our disagreements are misunderstandings, something that you saying that I just like I don't see, that I didn't, why would you think that? And so you end up on these two separate pages. I call it the gap of death, heading in two different directions. But I think the big, the most important thing is the nature of the relationship, because you can be in a relationship with somebody that's a committed relationship, like marriage or like a partnership, and somebody may not want to be led but still be committed to staying in the relationship. And that's where it gets a little tricky. It gets a little tricky because, like, how are you going to manage, like the areas of life where you need to have, where you need to be on the same page, when somebody is like, yeah, I'm not, you can do that over there, but I'm going to be over here? I think it does come to a point. Yeah, and a lot of people are in that situation. Like, don't be fooled by the matching pajama pictures and people posting on social media because the vast majority of people they are living in hell, some variation of unhappiness. That's normal.
Speaker 3:There's some people who just like screw this, and there's other people who put on the face the vast majority of people to some extent put on the face smile in church and praise the Lord, god, all the time. God is next thing. You know, they sleep in seven bedrooms, and so I'm just here to say that you do have to come to the point where you have boundaries and you. I think that there are some, some deal breakers where it's like, ok, probably the best thing for you to do is to separate yourself from somebody who just doesn't want to work with you, because relationships take two. I'm not saying to just jump and bail ship on the first sign of trouble. That's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that you try to maybe get some help, first to understand where the the gap in miscommunication exists and then when you are able to effectively communicate if somebody isn't interested in being underneath your leadership. Which bag you want To me, I have a bag.
Speaker 1:Or you can stay, I'll win and I want to be clear that everyone understands. They're not saying that you do this one time and then be ready to pack the bag there's a period of time that you go through If.
Speaker 4:I'm not Okay.
Speaker 3:Because essentially you're like the head coach, right, and so if nobody's going to listen to the head coach, why am I on this team?
Speaker 4:Or why y'all calling me the coach?
Speaker 2:There's degrees to this. If you're trying to lead as a man, you're trying to lead your woman, and God sends us red flags from the get-go. We just punish ourselves for not looking at those red flags. If you try to lead a woman as a man and her first response to you is who are you?
Speaker 2:Who are you? That's a red flag in the midst of it. In those instances, you need to run, because at this point in time, you're going to spend the next three to four years of trying to convince this woman to listen to you. Let me ask this.
Speaker 4:Let me ask this because I do have a question. It may be to balance the scale a little bit or not, but there are some people who got into a relationship and had no clue how to lead. They did this for 1, 2, 5, 6, 10, 20, 30 years. They finally got some conviction, got some know-how, they got some skill about them. Let's say, 7 years in Now, when you know what you're doing, you go back and say, hey, I know what I'm doing, now, let me lead you. You've burned this bridge for seven years. The money's jacked up, the finances are terrible because you didn't know. Now you know something about money. You want to lead. Does she owe you that? No?
Speaker 3:I don't think so.
Speaker 1:That's just me Are you humble enough, when you go back with this new information, to say that I messed up in order to like no, this is real.
Speaker 4:I got this. I got it like you go back in the most humblest tone. I honestly did not know what I now know, so let me lead us you shot me in the foot.
Speaker 3:Last time I'll hold the gun and.
Speaker 1:I think that's fair.
Speaker 4:But last time I did not know how to lead, so now I know how to lead. Let me lead.
Speaker 1:How many men are willing to say that?
Speaker 3:Not many, but if we were, we want a blank check. That's what we want. I'm just keep it.
Speaker 1:I'm the man yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we want a blank check because we got the equipment. It's just like it's. I'm over here trying to lead. I know now I may have sucked as a leader. Now I'm here attempting to do a better job and I need you to fall in line. Here's where I think we get a lot of things twisted the concept of submission, which is probably a completely different podcast, but the idea of submission, I think we've distorted it, especially with our patriarchy. I think that it's really twisted. The Bible says that Jesus humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on the cross. He didn't demonstrate weakness, he had power. He was like when Pilate's like don't you realize I got power? He's like whoa, hold on, you don't have any power over me. To the disciples he said I can call 12 legions of angels if I want and like yeah, just like Thanos, wooshy finger holding. I mean he could have. Just like.
Speaker 1:And with the mouth finger.
Speaker 3:That's it. It wasn't a matter of him being weak, but that's the essence of strength, essence of strength. And so when it says that he humbled himself, I think that none of us is too high and mighty to not need a little humbling. So the concept of submission is so distorted. We think that it's a sign of weakness. We perceive that it's oh, I'm stronger than you so that you're going to do what I say.
Speaker 3:When, in actuality, submission is a willful choice of someone to come underneath the covering of somebody else's decision. It's a conscious decision. It is not like you're weaker than I am and so I'm going to let you lead. That is real strength to me, and so I'm going to let you lead. That is real strength to me. And when, whenever you're, whenever you're factoring in what, what it looks like to submit to leadership, like it's hard. It's difficult because when the head coach calls full court press and you're like but they got Allen Iverson, he going to cross us, he going to like, he going to cross us All right Coach called a full court press.
Speaker 3:Let's go. We're submitting to the leadership that we have, because it's necessary for us to function as a cohesive team. This is the order. This is the head coach Go ahead.
Speaker 1:But I'm glad you said that, because I think it is asinine for men to really think they're just walking in saying because I have male genitalia and I'm the lead when, if it's amongst us, I can only be a leader if I have shown you over a period of time that I have those qualities. If I do not show you over a period of time I have those qualities, if I do not show you over a period of time I might be right, but you're not going to really hear me because you're like well, the last six times we listened to him he wasn't right. So you know we'll take it into advisement, but we're going to try to try something a little different. Why do we think that if it doesn't work amongst our peers, amongst our other brethren, that just showing up and saying I'm a man, god gave me this right, that you are supposed to follow me, will work in our home?
Speaker 3:I think it's a distorted view of patriarchy of the Bible to me. I do believe that we are called to lead. That's God's design. But even look at how Jesus led. He led like a shepherd. He wasn't like this macho do what I say or you're going to die. I'm going to shoot laser beams out of my eyes. That's not how he led my eyes. That's not how he led Like he. Even in his leadership style, he was empowering them. He's like yo, I give you power, you go out there.
Speaker 3:Jesus didn't baptize, they baptized. They had power to do what he wanted them to do. Go ye, therefore, teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father. That was their job, that was their calling, that was their gift to the world and the part that helped them to grow as believers. But we, I don't know. I think that it's easy to get sucked into some of the ideals because of one extreme being feminism, radical feminism. I think that it's easy for us to get sucked into toxic masculinity where it's just like obey me or else You're not my husband.
Speaker 3:I don't have to obey you. That's it. Hold on.
Speaker 1:Hold on. We got to get junk because I had you. Steve Danny, y'all both gave All. Right, steve Danny, y'all both gave Come on Jones All right, elder, you gave us a question, you didn't tell us what you would do. You gave us some great wisdom.
Speaker 2:You gave us a question.
Speaker 1:You ain't getting out of this.
Speaker 3:We won't tell her, Keith.
Speaker 4:We'll end this part out. We won't tell her. We won't tell her. I'm about to say that ain't already known, because that's free, jane, go free, listen. The question was what do you do when you run into somebody who doesn't want to submit correct?
Speaker 1:doesn't want to be led yeah, thank you into somebody who doesn't want to submit correct.
Speaker 4:Doesn't want to be led. That's the word. Yeah, thank you. It's multifaceted, because sometimes I threw that question out there because sometimes there are experiences that have wounded a relationship, where again you might be able to go to somebody and say, okay, I'll trust you as the captain of this team, but we need to go talk to the coach. So if you say you know what you're doing, let's huddle up with the coach, let's set up a game plan and then I'll trust you to execute. And once you've executed, then that'll rework that trust and what I mean by that. Finances If I know I struggle, since that's the one I use if I know I struggle with finances, we can go sit down with a financial advisor to verify that what I put together actually works.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 4:So so, now that we're sitting down talking to this person, see, I put this together and I put this together and they can critique my play. You can critique my play, but at the end of the day, what you put together or what I put together works. So, as I continue to reconfigure and reprogram what I've done over the years, it basically is rebuilding trust. It's possible, it can happen. It doesn't always have to end, but are we willing to do it? Because sometimes so much damage is done and it's so bad, and then sometimes it's not that bad. It's the pride and the ego that we just talked about that both sides will not let go. Nope, you're terrible with money, and that's the end of story when, yes, I used to be, or you're you're bad at this, or you're bad at that. Yeah, once upon a time you may be at the press. The person could have been, but if once upon a time they were alcoholic, they stopped drinking. Now they have to prove that, now that they're sober, they can still produce.
Speaker 2:But you got to humble your. But you got to humble your. That's the problem. There is a level of humility.
Speaker 4:You have to humble yourself. Do you have to? No, but but don't expect the person just to see, just because you say you can pull a rabbit out your head. Don't expect no.
Speaker 2:And the part of being humble is, sometimes you may have to involve them in that process, and maybe it's something you say. Can you help me?
Speaker 4:I don't need your help, help us.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean sometimes just having those conversations just saying, yeah, I know I messed up, but I got it together now I want to involve you in this process so that way I can prove to you, my spouse, that I am now in a position to lead us and I want you to be a part of seeing that transition. Just have a conversation like that. Nothing's wrong with that. You know, this is your spouse, this is the person you are supposed to share your hopes, dreams, desires, fears, anxieties, all those things with this person. And if you can't do that, you've got to reevaluate what you're doing with this particular person. Are you just in that to lead this person? Are you in this to experience this thing we call life with this person?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got a question now for us. I don't know how much time we got, but maybe this might be for the next one. But the backdrop for this question is like as a leader, I went to school, I got my master's degree in educational administration. One of the things that they teach us in this leadership program is this concept called shared vision. Most times, the old guard they will come in and whoever the person who has the crown on, they tell everybody what to do. The newer, less bureaucratic method of what's called transformational leadership is coming and facilitating a discussion with those who they are leading in order to have this thing called shared vision, without which usually you have that dive vision, because you're not going to have everybody who's going to be on the same page if one person's coming and saying you do this, you do that, you do that. So my question is when it comes to leadership, how and everything that we've talked about, how much, how collaborative should the experience of leadership be in your eyes?
Speaker 4:I'll go first. I believe that everybody actually is different. Honestly, I do. I believe that some people want to. I've met people who say they don't want to do. I don't want to know the finances. That's this job I don't want. I want him to. When he leaves out, I want him to lead out. So much I don't do nothing, he take over. And he said good, because when I step in the kitchen I don't want to touch not a dish, not a pot, not a pan.
Speaker 2:That's your domain.
Speaker 4:They're a traditional couple and so they you know they doing what they do. But when they view leadership, they look at it that way Whatever you're responsible for, I don't touch, whereas you got other homes that are like nah, we need to, we co-mingle this thing. So you cooking, I'm cooking Like we, we work in this together and that's how we lead out Like we. We plan together, we plan the menu, we plan how we going to cook it, whose day it is to cook or make sure we eat. So I think most a lot of couples have to actually sit down and talk about that. That comes even before coupling up. That comes in the process of building. What are you looking for? What do you see leadership, as I'm learning that even now, asking for specific questions what do you see leadership? Yeah, I think. I think I'm leading and you're like, so again, we. You got to be in a position, as a man, to hear some feedback about yourself and your leadership.
Speaker 4:And not just at home, but I mean because we already get feedback at work. But if you're a leadership at work, which I've been told I'm too nice of a supervisor sometimes, oh yeah, I know, right, right, right, right. Okay, my leadership style ain't to punch people in the face. I'm coming in, I'll talk about it, but that's another story. But my point is I learned from those situations and for the you know, for my wife now, because again, how she may respond or how she may understand leadership may not be what I'm used to doing, and so we have to talk and get on the same page, because when I, when I and how my kids know me, when I lead my children or have led my children, I don't say a lot and people notice that I give eye contact, I make certain facial expressions and they know exactly what I mean because I've led them for so long. I don't have to say much. When it's time to go, they know to look it's 70s, 80s, parenting.
Speaker 4:So, but you know my wife is different. I so, but you know my wife is different. I might have to come and say I mean, I may have to lead her differently until we get on the same page. Cause again, when I could give her that same look. And she's like why?
Speaker 4:your face like that. You all right, but it's a. It's a matter of getting talking enough where we know what is expected and how I lead. I don't yell. In fact, the quieter I get, that's actually my kids know. If I'm yelling, I'm actually not that bad when.
Speaker 2:I get quiet when I get quiet. That's the kids in the juvenile detention center knew.
Speaker 4:They knew that too. The kids in the juvenile detention center knew that too. If I'm talking to you, you'd be good, even if I'm yelling at you, if I get quiet. That means give me a minute.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, but I got to ask this question, you have to discuss those things.
Speaker 1:But I have to ask this question In a relationship because you mentioned the earlier couple where the husband takes care of the finances and the wife is like I trust that you will take care of us, just like he says, I trust that you will not, uh, prepare a meal that will will hurt us. What if, in that transformational leadership, what if the husband says, so, you don't trust me to take care of this? Is that toxic masculinity? Is that it like?
Speaker 4:she may not. It may be her last relationship, but she may not.
Speaker 2:Because that's going to start it.
Speaker 1:So now, how do you ask that question? There you go, Steve. Reformulate my words.
Speaker 2:So your question to her was so what? You don't trust me.
Speaker 1:Yes, that was a statement or no, that was a question, the same question being able to to state, first and foremost, all right, everybody listen your thoughts.
Speaker 2:Hey, in the past I did do x, y and z. I own this and I understand how you could feel a certain way about this. Do you feel like at this point, you can't trust me and follow that up? Is there any point at all in the future that you feel like you can trust me with this, and what is it that you would need from me to be, able for you to be able to trust me.
Speaker 3:I love James that part. Say that again for the people in the back.
Speaker 1:Give us the three things again.
Speaker 4:No it is.
Speaker 2:Reimagine your thoughts.
Speaker 2:Reimagine your thoughts, ask that question in a different way. Do you feel like you cannot trust me because x, y and z? Is there anything that I can do to to gain your trust for in the future? You see what I'm saying, because here's the thing too, with this whole and I and I challenge men and women in any relationship ask your, ask your spouse, your significant other, this question. Just ask me, who do you think leads this relationship? And there is a right answer to this, and this is just my thoughts.
Speaker 2:I think the right answer to this is somebody saying I believe we lead this relationship, I believe we lead this marriage, because it should not always be just one person leading the entire marriage, leading the entire relationship. We are a partnership and there's different facets that we all lend a hand in making this thing work. So if one person says I think you do everything, I think you, oh, I do everything, I do. So you know, it's that's, that's that's what caused some problems. If one person thinks that they are doing everything, or if one person thinks that you do everything, you got to look at that and say, hey, you know what? I want this to definitely be a partnership. We are a team. I want us to lead this.
Speaker 4:Well, that brings you back to my question, because? I hear what you're saying, but I also know what I see, and I see people who haven't had that conversation.
Speaker 4:Who shows you how, and that's the other thing. Who shows you how? But I know couples. For instance, when he experienced death, he was not himself, he was grieving Mm-hmm. She didn't recognize I need you to. She didn't recognize that he was looking for her to step up and co-lead. He didn't, nor did he communicate it. So it became an area of contention in the house where I need you to step up and do these things as the leader in our house, and it boiled over and turned into this horrible argument. But it was basically him not knowing how to say I can't leave right now because I'm broken I can't I can't do what you're asking me to do right now, because my mind is not even clear right now.
Speaker 4:so you're asking for a level of spirituality, of physical closeness, of emotional closeness that I don't have because I'm grieving. And once he finally got there in their session, then, yes, things started to improve because he could then put names to what he needed her to do to help him lead with the kids, with the bills, because he was a hot mess. So a lot of times, man, we need to be able to say I'm not myself. That part right there, that part.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know what to do. I never did this. That's the humbling part.
Speaker 4:That's the humbling part there's nothing wrong Listen, there's nothing wrong for some of the men who do it If you give your wife the check because she knows what to do with that money. Come on.
Speaker 3:And sometimes that's leadership, that is leadership here Double it.
Speaker 2:woman there you go, there you go. Man right there Just being able to say I don't know, or I need help, or I just need you. What is the point of being in a relationship? If you feel like you can do it all yourself, you need to be in a relationship then. That's the point. Yeah, I'm a little Johnny. Relationship. If you feel like you can do it all yourself, you need to be in a relationship there.
Speaker 3:that's the point yeah, I'm a little johnny that, but another podcast yeah, well, fellas, you know I want to keep y'all this.
Speaker 1:We've already passed that minute mark and this is the the last episode for the year. Um, we got 2025. We got some place to go. I'm glad that y'all have been rocking with me for these past couple of years. I look forward to 2025. Before we go, we just passed the holiday season. I got to ask this question If you can remember the favorite gift that you got and why this is from day one to now. You can remember. Okay, all right, let's, let's just go through those who know it, start chiming in what you got, when you got it and why. Let's check them out this year. Or just through our life. Through our life, yeah, you gotta, you gotta go back. Yeah, look to the left, look to the right.
Speaker 2:I don't know which way you'll find an answer by the time we get to you I don't know what year it was, but it was the year that I guess you can look it up the year the nintendo entertainment system came out, and I remember that my mother I can clearly see it us being in my grandmother's place looking at the gift. I can still smell the doggone thing. I can smell it. I can smell that electronic rubber. I can smell all of it. I don't know what it was, but it's something about that. It was magical. It was magical. It was something that I didn't think would be obtained, but there was, and I think that it put you back in a time where you didn't have access to everything but that one particular thing.
Speaker 2:You felt like you felt, as a kid, really happy with certain things too. You know what I mean. You didn't have a care in the world, so it was. It's a lot of memories just even with just just that. Just seeing, uh, nintendo's entertainment system will bring me back immediately to that. That's my love for video games is now, but it was something about being able to have something that I did not think that I could have. And sometimes life is really weird and God gives you blessings and sometimes blessings are a curse if you don't really reel it in a curse if you don't really reel it in, because sometimes being able to have a good career, have good money, you have access to everything you don't look sometimes you don't look forward to everything, but when you do not have certain things and then you get it, it does something to you. I remember that. I actually don't remember any other gift that I've ever gotten for Christmas as a kid. I remember that.
Speaker 1:All right Now you need to watch 8-Bit Christmas before the year ends out.
Speaker 2:Oh seriously.
Speaker 1:It talks about the same thing A kid in a Nintendo around Christmas time.
Speaker 2:That's the one that had the zapper too, had the zapper.
Speaker 1:I think they all came out with that.
Speaker 4:You're right.
Speaker 2:No, there was one that came with that.
Speaker 1:That was a base. That and then that was a base, and then the one that came with the robot. That was like the ultimate. I still have the power pad and it still works, did you?
Speaker 2:ever have the glove? Nah, we never had a glove oh, you had a glove they must have really liked you.
Speaker 4:No, I had to look hard for that. What did I ever do with that thing?
Speaker 1:I don't even know probably didn't play with the wheel, it just seemed weird. Alright, danny, keith, I'll go. I'll just say this it was 1984 I want to say it might have been 6. I got a transformer. It wasn't Optimus Prime, I think his name was Jetfire. He was white and red originally. He was friends with Starscream backstory they were scientists.
Speaker 1:that was before Starscream went bad and he got lost in some ice and was finally unfrozen and he wound up joining the forces with the was it Autobots. But the reason why I remember it is because my grandfather got it for me and I'd opened all gifts and it was like my parents, like this is the last one from your grandfather, and it was big and I was like oh, big means good. When I opened it I was like oh, had on my jeans and my small big and I was like oh, big means good. You know, when I opened it I was like oh, had on my my jeans and my small shirt and was holding up polaroid and I remember that one that was uh, that took me back yeah, um, I'll say I gotta pick two.
Speaker 3:So I'm gonna make them quick. The first one was when my mom bought me a saxophone alto saxophone it was. It might as well cost $10,000 because we didn't have the money. I wanted one and she found a way to get it and I found it before Christmas and she was mad that I found it because, I tried to make it.
Speaker 3:So you know, when you find something, you try to leave it exactly the way you found it. Yeah, the other one was my grandmother took me to get a suit. Like this is like prior to going up to Pine Forge. Like she got me two suits so that I could look good and so that I could be the well-polished young man that many know. I didn't really have suits. I may have had a couple ties, but she got me some suits and I wore them suits for the next 20 years bro.
Speaker 4:Didn't tell me nothing. All the buttons probably were gone, falling off. I don't care, put grandma's suit on, that's it. Alright, you said the first gift.
Speaker 1:I'm saying the most memorable gift, so not the first one.
Speaker 4:I got so many, but I'm to go with the first one. I don't know if it's Christmas or birthday, but it's also 80s. Probably. One of the things I remember was the Big Wheel.
Speaker 1:Which one did you have? The Knight Rider Dukes of Hazzard. Don't judge me over here, don't judge me, we all have big old.
Speaker 4:Confederates back and I didn't care. But the reason I remember that one is because you could not tell me that when I was on that thing. It's probably like Steve and his Mustang right there when he doing 120,000 miles per hour he move it and when I would take a curve there was some dogs. I'm talking too much now, but there was big white German shepherd on one side of the street at the Wright's house. Whenever you went down that street them dogs would go crazy. They would go ham One day on that big wheel. I knew I oh my.
Speaker 4:God, the handbrake. Right, I had the handbrake. I came down that corner. I came down that hill At the bottombrake. I came down that corner. I came down that hill At the bottom of the hill. I pulled that handbrake and I slid. I was drifting.
Speaker 1:Original drift.
Speaker 4:The original drift. That was part of why we were one of my most memorable games. What's that?
Speaker 2:I just looked this thing up, Keith. It didn't just have one confederate. It was all over the doggone thing.
Speaker 4:I have never seen this before in my life I had a Knight Rider, one I didn't know, but you can't tell me when that thing was like you couldn't tell me. I couldn't do any of that I knew on that big wheel I could jump over anything. If those dogs had got out, I promise you I would have outran both of them, but that's the most memorable gift I have, Wow.
Speaker 1:If we had a picture, we would have posted.
Speaker 4:Everybody look up. This is wild this is wild, this is wild and I love that thing because, again, it, it, I. It's one of the first times I actually felt just empowered, like I had to sit down, think about, about it. When I got on that again I could jump. I could jump just like the car over a ravine from Boss Hall. Whoever, roscoe P Coltrane, they couldn't catch me on that thing.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. It's the end. A closing word word, closing thought. I'm gonna let y'all in this. Uh, just thank people for rocking with us for 2024. So all right, y'all. Y'all said some things.
Speaker 3:If you can wrap it up, wrap it up yeah, I'm to just go with the general, just the iron table. Like get you some men that can help you level up and we all need some area of, of of sharpening. So that's what the iron table is all about Making sure you have people who can speak into your life and lives that you can speak into can speak into your life and lives that you can speak into.
Speaker 2:All right, we'll talk. I want to challenge people that's listening to this. Let 2025 be a year about being serious about God again. You know what I mean. I think too many people are joking about God and about spirituality and whatnot. In the same light, we can't say that God is good all the time and you know, going in using his name in vain to it in the same sentence. You know? Be serious about God. You know, and and cut out the foolishness for those who are not being serious about God. Let God's name actually mean something. You know what I mean. Let it mean something.
Speaker 4:Oh my goodness, Before you look to lead others, learn how to lead yourself With God's help. Learn from the master how to lead. It's easier? I don't think it it's easy. It's not a cakewalk. So kids in the mix, I don't care what the leadership style looks like, but those are some of the people that don't. They don't want it. I don't care how you give me what I want. I don't give me what I want I got it.
Speaker 2:So learning how to lead and how to even deal with that is key.
Speaker 4:So before you really get serious about leading somebody else, get with God and learn how to let him lead you, so you can do that. All right, that's it.
Speaker 1:All right, fellas. Well, thanks again for rocking with me this year. It's been one of the best years For all those listening. Look forward to bringing you some entertainment and some truth and some realism in 2025. So just stay safe, stay resilient, we out.
