Have you ever found yourself yearning for the simpler times when relationships unfolded in the analog world? Together with my brothers Keith, Danny, and Steve, we're pulling up a chair at the iron table to dissect the convoluted ways social media has redefined our connections with one another. From the haunting grip of past relationships that refuse to fade into the digital ether to the voyeuristic habits social media engenders, we're laying it all on the table.
This heart-to-heart takes a turn down nostalgia lane, reminiscing the symbols of bygone eras—like the "Hershey stick" emblematic of classroom authority—and the tactile joy of physical media over ephemeral MP3s. But it's not just about waxing nostalgic; we're confronting the less savory aspects of the digital age. The conversation probes into the illusion of friendship social media peddles, the jealousy it stokes, and the concerning new norms around privacy, infidelity, and the search for validation that it seems to have normalized in a way that's reshaping the very fabric of society.
And as the night wanes, we're not shying away from the bigger questions that linger in the quiet moments away from the screens. How do we preserve our mental and emotional well-being in an age that demands constant connectivity? We explore the tools and strategies necessary for managing our digital diet, the significance of discernment, and the profound implications these have on the sacred vows of marriage. It's a late-night investment into the heart of our culture and into the essence of what it means to navigate life authentically in the digital era. Join us as we sharpen our insights and fortify our resolve to emerge wiser and more grounded in who we are amid the online tumult.
Have you ever found yourself yearning for the simpler times when relationships unfolded in the analog world? Together with my brothers Keith, Danny, and Steve, we're pulling up a chair at the iron table to dissect the convoluted ways social media has redefined our connections with one another. From the haunting grip of past relationships that refuse to fade into the digital ether to the voyeuristic habits social media engenders, we're laying it all on the table.
This heart-to-heart takes a turn down nostalgia lane, reminiscing the symbols of bygone eras—like the "Hershey stick" emblematic of classroom authority—and the tactile joy of physical media over ephemeral MP3s. But it's not just about waxing nostalgic; we're confronting the less savory aspects of the digital age. The conversation probes into the illusion of friendship social media peddles, the jealousy it stokes, and the concerning new norms around privacy, infidelity, and the search for validation that it seems to have normalized in a way that's reshaping the very fabric of society.
And as the night wanes, we're not shying away from the bigger questions that linger in the quiet moments away from the screens. How do we preserve our mental and emotional well-being in an age that demands constant connectivity? We explore the tools and strategies necessary for managing our digital diet, the significance of discernment, and the profound implications these have on the sacred vows of marriage. It's a late-night investment into the heart of our culture and into the essence of what it means to navigate life authentically in the digital era. Join us as we sharpen our insights and fortify our resolve to emerge wiser and more grounded in who we are amid the online tumult.
Welcome to the iron table, where iron sharpens iron.
Speaker 1:So should men sharpen men. I am your host, bryant Godine, and I'm joined by my brothers, keith Danny and Steve. We're your waiters, serving you accountability and truth. We now bring you to our program already in progress. Welcome to the iron table, where iron sharpens iron. So should men sharpen men.
Speaker 1:It would probably work if I take stop playing our intro. I just talked about not having any mistakes. I can't blame this one on Jones. This is all on me. I'm not even going to take it out, because we try to keep it real all the time. It's got a couple of housekeeping items, as always. We got to say this probably a couple of times, but you don't own the rights to any music that we use. Since we use it, we got to give credit to where credit is due. We appreciate the talents and the craft of musicians and only use their music to honor their gifts and keep their memories alive. As always, I'm Bryant, brought to the table, brothers Keith Danny and Steve.
Speaker 1:We're going to start off with a warm up question before we really get into the meat of it. I'm just going to bring it up on the screen. What is one item from the past, one item, maybe, one thought that you wish we had today, or process what's one item that we have today that you wish? What do we know that we could do without? I'll start also. You understand the thought that I have.
Speaker 1:One thing I wish we had today is that we gave power back to the teachers in order to provide some form of discipline. I'm not talking about whipping, spankings, but that they had authority to check the child, especially if it's warranted, if they did something that was disrespectful, that was just wrong, outright just evil that they actually have authority to provide a meaningful form of discipline. It's not always. When I grew up, there was this thing called the Hershey stick. Teacher used to wrap a yardstick in some tape or they had a big paddle and drilled some holes in it. They didn't have to use it a lot, but the fact that they had something that could instill fear, and by fear you began to start respecting authority.
Speaker 1:I think, with that lacking these days, we've got children and parents that do not value the sacrifice and the sacrifice that teachers make in the authority or the respect that they need in order to teach. Then one thing that we have today that we can do without. It's easy to say the internet, but I like the internet. But I would say it's one thing to do without MP3s. I like records, I like CDs, I like physical media and I try to collect those things and I like the crackling pop of a record and some songs it just sounds good and two channel audio. Everything doesn't have to be digitized. I would say I could do without MP3s and go back to physical media.
Speaker 3:I would say what I wish we had today. We still have here and there but choirs. Back in the day, everybody had a choir. If you weren't in the choir you might as well have been under a rock somewhere, because that's where you got a chance. Everybody came together. It was like the place to be the thing to do. If you had your eye on somebody, you would get a peek on them in the choir you might get the rock next to them. I really wish we had more choirs today. I like the praise team and all that, but it's not like a good choir, but not like a good choir. I guess. Item today wish we could do without.
Speaker 3:I'd say smartphones, particularly smartphones Great smartphones in many ways have made us dumb. You are so dumb. I had an opportunity to live without a smartphone when I was missionary and it was liberating. I didn't realize that. I thought I was going to be having withdrawal. It felt good to not have access to the world and for the world to not have access to me. I just be out in nature. When I left the house, I was gone. If you ain't tell me what you needed, oh well, you're going to have to go and get yourself. Those are my two.
Speaker 1:That's probably why you have an Apple phone, because you were without a smartphone. I mean, I have to you know who we are, samsung plus one.
Speaker 2:I would say the one item from the past that I wish that we still had today Is arcade.
Speaker 2:Right, as a kid, you know, it was something very special to me to be able to see the lights, to hear the action from a arcade machine that I don't think that a lot of kids really understand or get. And it's about that kind of being a kid, you know, being able to, you know, understand the importance of patience and waiting for certain things and the joy out of, you know, just a machine like that, you know kids don't everything's too instant for them or not, and everything is just hey. You know you don't even have to go into the store anymore to buy your video game. It's just okay, new games coming out, just download it. You know there's no, there's no feel to it anymore. So you know, that's that's one thing that I wish we had more of, you know, not just for me, but just, you know, for kids to be able to understand and and feel that joy of that One item from today that we can do without going with all the lines with you, Brian.
Speaker 2:I would say Internet, but, and specifically social media. I think we could do without them. I think there's certain things that I've not said this before that God takes certain people out of our lives for a reason, and I think social media gives us access to those particular people I'm still and that keeps us in a loop of sometimes not getting over people, but sometimes keeping up with people that we don't need to be keeping up with.
Speaker 1:Okay, I definitely second that arcade. That's where you get to meet people and kind of a social interaction. If we didn't have social media I'd have to send a joy note to a person. I don't even know if they still live there Used to have pen pals. They know about that. I used to have those pen pals. I don't know where they are anymore, so it doesn't matter. I'm happily married, all right Jones, you know smooth guy with the suit making us all look bad, oh man.
Speaker 4:I had to go and dance in public with my child. Oh, how was it?
Speaker 1:How was it for you?
Speaker 4:You know I popped locked champion 1984. What you talking about I was I went out there.
Speaker 4:Now I'm gonna pay for it. I'm gonna fill it later. It's now 2024 and 84, no more. So I popped and I locked and it's gonna be locked in the morning.
Speaker 4:So things that I could that I miss, or from the past I miss the everybody being outside, everybody. I just outside, that's what we did. Everybody go outside and play and you look for your friends outside. You come, get them and go outside and play. I miss actually hearing kids outside. Now, some neighborhoods still got it, but for the most part a lot of kids stay inside, a lot of young men, they, you know inside gaming.
Speaker 4:So being able to go outside and play, ride bikes down in neighborhood, just actually thought about it. Like we were outside, nobody looked for us, like to the street, like came more. We were just out there, like many of us. Just they just trust that we would come back. But I digress things that we could get rid of. Today I'm gonna say student loan debt. I don't pay it, but I don't think we should have it. I think it's unrealistic, it's unpractical. We shouldn't just like with the housing loans and I've been through all this with you guys just like with the housing loans. I think the student loans were they set people up for failure. They were bad loans, so I think we could do without. I love the fact that people pursue some form of education and knowledge and information, but it should not come with the price of their existence.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we can do without all that stuff, it's interesting that we brought out elements of our childhood, from going outside, having choirs to arcades and even having the fear of teachers. It's something that these children of today, if they don't get those experiences, it's a great loss, it is definitely stunts their growth. So we're just gonna go right into it. Here is the question what today is going to be about. Steve kind of talked about it. So, yeah, we're about to bring out angry Steve, I've been waiting for this one.
Speaker 1:So how is social media influenced or amplified? Cheating, infidelity, jealousy, etc. We live in a social media age where back in the day used to be AOL chat rooms, yahoo chat rooms, you had Black Planet. I remember having a copy-serve email address with some numbers. You know you tried to. Everything stayed local. And then Facebook. I remember when Facebook first came out, they used to be my space. You had these little social experiments and then Facebook took over and, as you said, there's been an explosion. So now we live in an age where social media kind of drives behaviors. It influences, it keeps us, as Steve said, in contact with people we normally wouldn't keep in contact with. But I mean, how bad has it really gotten from your perspective?
Speaker 3:I'll say you used to have to go looking for people and try to find them. Now you can't get away from them and it's one of those. It's a catch-22. It's a blessing and a curse. It's a double-edged sword.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 4:I mean in a small town, you know, if you wanted to get away from people, or even in a big town, you just once upon a time you could move and no one. You wouldn't see people until you came back. You might hear stories, or you might hear someone you know bring up something if something significant happened, but by that time either you probably forgot who they were or you just didn't care. But with the birth of social media, no one ever has to let go emotionally. Now, that's why restraining orders are big these days, because people don't want to let go, and but with social media you don't really have to.
Speaker 1:You can still stay on someone's page until the way you said that it sounds creepy. You can still stay on someone's page.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it absolutely is creepy.
Speaker 4:Lurkers. I mean, it's unfortunate, but some people I know some people who recognize that the person that they are following is the one that got away. So until they, until they mourn that loss, grieve that loss and move on, they are fixated. They are hyper focused on every event this person makes in their life, and sometimes it's not even about lust or love, sometimes it's ventured. You know, you got some angry people out there, fixated on her, like I want to watch you so I can hate you. I want to. Oh, she just had another baby. I hate her. She got a car.
Speaker 3:Some of us are a little creepy too, in the sense that, like, you might not see somebody for like 10, 15 years and then when you see them in person, they're telling you parts of your life that you like do I even know you? This is like how was your trip? You're like what? Like it's just a little. We used to have peeping times, and peeping times were like oh, they're just nasty. Now everybody's a peeping time. You peep it into. You know this person's life, that person's life, this person's page. You just like we've become obsessive and addicted to?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 4:Well, to information. We're obsessed with information and we feel like we must know. We feel entitled as a people to know things that really aren't our business.
Speaker 1:Yes, but think about this. I mean, peeping times is like now. You don't even have to work for it. I had to say that. But yeah, Facebook makes you believe that someone who is an acquaintance is a friend.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, nothing for the.
Speaker 1:I mean I've got what is it? Over a thousand friends. I don't. I got people. I know I mean I've met before and I've seen, but they call me out of the blue and ask for some money I'm like. I don't know you. My friends get money. If I quote, my inner circle gets money. But somebody on Facebook oh look, we learned law siege. He's a friend of mine, I guess he. I didn't kick him off.
Speaker 4:It has its place because sometimes, again, it is a tool that can be used to amplify information. So sometimes you don't want to call the whole world. You might want to announce you just had a child and this is a perfect place to let people know that this happened. I had a child and it may be meant for a select few like your family. But when you tell the world, expect the world to respond, and I can't say that enough. I hate when people post public information, get mad when the public responds Like but you put it out there. So if you put it out there, expect that the world will know. But again, it does give a false sense of friendship when that's not what it is. It's avoidance.
Speaker 2:Remember, remember in the Bible you know God, we know the quote that everybody gets wrong, kind of saying that you know God will never put as much on you as you can bear. Whatever I think the quote really is, god will never tempt you as much as you can get out of there your own temptation, right. Facebook, social media, whatever you want to call it, is just full of temptation.
Speaker 2:I'm going to simplify it into 1000. Temptation to reach out to an ex. Temptation to reach out to somebody you know you shouldn't be reaching out to because you are in a committed relationship. Temptation to do things that you would not normally do if you were to, or say things that you would not normally say to somebody if you saw them in real life. You know, one of the things when we're talking about either infidelity or especially jealousy, is that you have so many people concerned with their spouse or their significant other and what they're doing on social media. Okay, I see that you friend this particular person. I see that you like this particular person's free picture, or you or this person liked all your pictures a little bit too much. You know, it's amplified, these, the jealousy is definitely amplified with social media and it's destroying, destroying relationships left and right because of this. The whole notion of everybody knowing what could happen because of oh you too many emojis in here, or this person is liking all your pictures or whatnot. It's, it's, it's too much. And even now we're not.
Speaker 3:We're not built for that, even down to stuff like gender reveals, there were no such things as a gender reveal. You told people what you have and now it's a whole production. People spending tens of thousands of dollars Engage me they love over.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people losing their love over it.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. You know, even engagements like you used to just have to get on one knee, do something nice. And now, if you just like, you know, one knee, that's all you did, like it's some wrong because of our, our exposure to people all over the world. And so one person does something extraordinary and gets three million views, and now three million women out here are expecting for something elaborate, you know, and or men expecting their whatever to look and have like this same shape after having four kids. That that's not everybody's story, but it gives us the capacity to compare, infinitely. Compare what we have as opposed to what we have. And so we live in in a covetous state of discontentment where it's all, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, always.
Speaker 2:And you know when that happens to that you have. You have people that try to keep up with the Jones is sorry and they post it. And they post everything online, right, they post and then sometimes they post their whole relationship online. But as soon as something hits the fan, you know they don't, you don't see from that other person anymore. Or as soon as something hits the fan, then it's it's a. It's a whole monologue about oh, what was me? So we're talking about cheating, we're talking about infidelity.
Speaker 2:There are so many people justifying some of their actions, especially Mary, justifying some of their actions online and on social media, and people or our friends are justify our co-signing. Yeah, living your truth. You know what? Don't worry about them or her. This, that the third. So we feel that the actions that we're doing are OK because X, y and Z and now we're normalizing things that it's like it's uncanny. I know that they did this back in the day. As far as you know, you know married men mess up, but it's. It's so commonplace right now, with people that are married involved in other relationships and people being OK with being with somebody else that is married. So nobody's really hot and you got people that are hiding it. But a lot of times, a lot of these women sometimes men too as well know that the person that they're dealing with is married and they're OK with it. In what world have we come into it now, where that's just what we do?
Speaker 1:And that's OK. But again, you, I mean it's about popularity. I mean social media gives those who are unpopular a platform in which they can obtain popularity, and we know that popularity comes from being shocked. You know, if you can shock the audience, you get the views. You get the views. There's a possibility, you can get money. But morality, I've learned, is as fickle as the wind If it comes from the left. You know morality is on the left If it comes from the right. You know truth is. Truth is no longer the foundation of morality. It's how I feel, when I feel, and I might change the next day, and you know what? That's OK, because it's all about me and it's my world. Y'all are just players in it. So I'm going to do what I want, I'm going to say how I want it and I dare you to say something to me, because if not, if you do, then cancel, culture comes in.
Speaker 2:Why dare you not to say anything to me? Don't respond to me, well, how dare you not care about me? The world should be, you know. It gives this false impression that the spotlight is on you when it's not. The world keeps moving, regardless if first, if you hear or not, if you engage or not, if you met or not, if you're in a relationship or not. The world keeps moving. But we is this false sense of entitlement and that the spotlight is on you. Me, me, me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, one thing I wanted to point out was just how different we talked about peeping times. You know we didn't talk about back back in the day. If you wanted to have eyes on you, you had to kind of leave the window open or act like you were. You know you were dressing and you know it was seen in a certain way Now, like it's so flipped on, upside down on the head, on it on its head, because you you have people who like that's normal, like that, that'll get you fame, that'll get you notoriety, to show all your goodies and to be on display, leaving nothing to the imagination. And whereas before you had to kind of act like people are, now it's just like yo, come watch me shake what my mama gave me, come watch me jiggle my.
Speaker 2:Something's wrong with you if you're not doing that, and that's nothing, because now with family fans it's not. Oh, you're not shake. You can come have sex with me and we'll record on camera and we'll make money, it's like a tank of marriage.
Speaker 1:Even the privacy of it is no longer existing. Depending upon, I think it's like a certain age group, or is it people who are, like, just thirsty for money, attention, fame, belonging, but it comes at a cost?
Speaker 3:Absolutely, but they don't care. Yes, why? I think because we're so isolated that now this is the only way for people to connect, but you're not really connected. You're absolutely not connected. It is a one-way connection. It's a pseudo-connection, pseudo-connection.
Speaker 4:It's a form, like. It's a very shallow connection, like the excitement of being pursued, the excitement of connecting, for some, the excitement of being able to send messages back. There isn't an excitement that people get from this, which is why people do it. For some people, it's fun. It's fun to swipe, it's fun to get. I have fun.
Speaker 3:Dopamine is actually getting that DM.
Speaker 2:It's like Christmas Every time I get a new DM. Oh what did he say? It's a hit, it's a hit, it's a hit.
Speaker 3:Me and Keith.
Speaker 3:We used to have well, I don't know if that's safe but it can be something that is compulsive, like when you swipe it and then, like, I get it. I understand why, and I'll even say this it always intrigued me because when I discovered all of these live things, I was on TikTok the other day and there was. I was scrolling, I was scrolling, I was scrolling and there was this oh, there was a person who was there and she had an interesting accent and I was curious to know where she was from. And so, for the first time because I had always seen people, this is the first time I commented on a complete stranger. It's like whatever, I was like yo, where are you from? Oh, hi, danny, I'm from South Desserts. It was like oh, she already knew you.
Speaker 3:It's just a different world.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute, so this stranger already knew.
Speaker 3:Yes, but they will sit on camera for hours and just. Thank you, john, for the hearts, thank you, bill, oh, thank you for the flowers. Oh yeah, and they're talking back and forth to these people, and that's life. Mind you, none of the men know how to actually talk to a real woman At all. None of them know how to.
Speaker 4:I don't know where we're going and I'm not really very.
Speaker 2:Here's the crazy thing. You know, when we just said something about Only Fans, I read an article I don't know about Only Fans or listen to something they're driving the story. A lot of times, when people think they're interacting with that particular Only Fans person, they're not really interacting with them. These people have a whole team or a whole host, like maybe three or four people that manage that particular pace. So while you think you're talking to this particular person, man think he's talking to this woman, you're talking to a dude, and the dude goes ahead and tells the girl hey, this is what John Doe blah, blah, blah. This is what he wants you to do on this particular day. What not? Go ahead, respond to him. But this whole time John Doe thinks he's talking to this woman, but he's not. So it's giving this false sense of inclusion, of a false relationship with this person that you see on the screen but it really doesn't exist at all.
Speaker 2:So it's very empty.
Speaker 4:It is, and it spreads to other forms of that with other people meaning, because it's not even just always the big platforms. I'm just talking about individual, because we're talking about infidelity. There are a lot of people who are just miserable in their lives or miserable in their relationships, so they go around and they plant these seeds and they interfere with other lives and other relationships because they themselves are lonely or just unhappy I'll use that word and so with that again, it's all pseudo. I don't really want you. I'm unhappy right now, so I'm going to pursue happiness by disturbing others, and it's again a selfish. Yeah, but it's something that people will do, and it's kind of the same format. I don't really want you.
Speaker 4:It's a pseudo shallow. This pool is shallow. There's no depth to this. It's just me sending out messages, and then I know guys that tell me all the time, the moment she responds in, the moment I got her and I get what I want, whether it's her attention or more, I throw her back where I stopped talking. I ghost her Like I would feel guilty. I would feel guilty for ghosting. I do understand how and why it happens, though, but there's some guys I talk to. Didn't we all used to ghost back in the day.
Speaker 2:So they would think oh, this on a whole other level now. Oh my god.
Speaker 4:They would find these married women, they would interact with these married women, they would get them all in, they would get what they wanted and then they would ghost them and no conscious. But it's one of those like oh my gosh, how could he do this to me?
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly, even down to the whole epidemic of men sending pictures of their private parts to God. I know so many females who just hit. That's the clue. Can you imagine us in the 90s? Now we was doing some crazy stuff, but imagine just going to a random woman and just pulling your pants down so she can see your balls Like, like.
Speaker 2:You're going to jail. You're going to jail, jail Exactly that's what you do, and you want a list for the rest of your life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you want a list for the rest of your life, but now that that's a strategy. It's a strategy because for every 10 and for every 19 that don't. Maybe there's one that's like oh well, let me send a picture of my life. You know that sounds like animalistic.
Speaker 1:That sounds animalistic that you got to show your you know what you're working with in order to and that separates man from, I'll say, beast, is that man uses his mind, but beast got to use their physical attributes in order to. You know, like you know, put my arms up, show some muscles in order to, to woo you just like a peacock.
Speaker 4:Well, I mean it is. That's nature, does that? The male lions got the main, the male peacocks got to have the colors they like to, they like to strut, and so they'll just have pincers.
Speaker 1:I don't think we should be different.
Speaker 4:We should not be leading. We should not. I don't think in the pictures, but we should not be. I talked to a lot of guys who lead with that and, like I don't know why, she stopped talking to me. Well, I do.
Speaker 1:So it was mentioned that you know these.
Speaker 3:That's that's. Oh my God, that's normal, there's no one else the norm. So many.
Speaker 2:It's. So. Many cases is like, hey, they're asking some crazy things on the first day. Yeah, you do that, here you go, and that means it's worked somewhere and I try to Absolutely Worked somewhere.
Speaker 3:I try to tell.
Speaker 2:I try to tell women in some of my sessions, like when you're talking about why did he ghost me or why do you do this, and I said well, think about it. What does man do outside of relationships, like such as when we're talking about certain things like fishing? Right, sometimes men fish for sport. They cast it out, they get the fish, reel it in, look at it, throw it back. That's the game, that's so. You're like how can he do it and throw it back in and do it again to the same fish. You and I tell women you are that fish, you are that fish, you keep on getting caught, you keep on taking the bait. And then I'm surprised now oh, he threw me back. I'm the.
Speaker 4:He threw me back got on the boat Bob other fish.
Speaker 1:Yep I.
Speaker 2:Thought. I was the only one he don't even want to eat. He don't even want to eat, he just sport fish, just sport fishing. And that's a thing, men fish. Look at me like throw it back.
Speaker 3:We want men will hunt, yeah the big thing that the internet has given us is, like we said before, it gives you an indefinite opportunity to compare with Billions of other people, and so you're never satisfied, because there's always somebody's got a bigger, this, a skinnier that you know of any, and you will never content with what you have. And so, going back to the, the question that you led with today, be you know, it's like okay, what? What do you miss and what do you wish that we had you? What we had back in the day was contentment. You know, there's this line in the Prince of Egypt. He said when all you have is nothing, there's a lot to go around, you know, and we have lost contentment and we live in this, this constant state of Well, how come they get to be in Hawaii? Well, how come, how come her husband bought her flowers and it had, you know, a hundred Roses on the bed for their 20th anniversary? You don't love me. It's a constant comparison and it's toxic and it just breeds function.
Speaker 2:That, that what you just said right there, what you just said how come we don't have it? We not day, if that's, you know, makes it we not day. We, we different. You know, we and that's what people don't understand that everybody's experience is going to be different. You're not going to be just like everybody else. That's why I always say no, it was not meant it. Right. Man was not meant to know everything that's going on with every single human being. Oh, we're not. We don't have the capacity to be God. I got every go.
Speaker 3:I need to know everything. I need to see every set of titties. I need to see everything. I'm sorry, I forgot that's. That's how.
Speaker 4:They're all. You never stop there, even even I don't, even. I don't even hype nobody up, no more. Because every time I say you know, like I said before, I've talked to you guys about it, oh, this artist is a good artist. She never shows her and as soon as I.
Speaker 2:Know, I know exactly who you talking about.
Speaker 4:I remember asking me like I have to show I was really disappointed by by by a lot of the. Again, I, like you guys know, I was disappointed by a lot of the female artists that get the publicity over those who are Equally or more talented, that you never hear of in the representation of those artists, those top artists. I Don't like the representation, eight or the, the impression they give to the young girls and and it bothers me, but that's a whole nother podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it will be.
Speaker 4:There's a whole nother topic but but it, but all these, as Danny put out All these titties out here, their distraction, and again for a lot of men, again it opens the door and next thing you down a rabbit hole and you are no longer happy with your wife's titties boobs.
Speaker 3:Solomon said it like I don't care. Yo, you need to enjoy your own wife's titties.
Speaker 1:Is that the word for?
Speaker 3:today it's here. We might as well.
Speaker 2:They say it on TV, they can say it on TV, they say it on the radio and like is nothing.
Speaker 1:They do I like the iron table to not be a table dance?
Speaker 2:But to the question that you asked earlier, one thing that I think that I miss too is the world's privacy. Nobody's private anymore. I know everybody's business. Everybody knows me. I don't need to see all of these or know all of that. You say what?
Speaker 1:are you on social media?
Speaker 2:not at all. Not at all, exactly it. But see, here's the thing, the reason why I'm not also on social media, because I know I Know my weaknesses as well. So a part of being able to do better is also understanding your own weaknesses and knowing how. I could probably be compulsive with this. No, and I see I see evil in this. I'm beyond us, which I see evil in it, to the point to where I know that this control Somebody's thought process too as well.
Speaker 2:I know that I don't need to be looking at other people because here's the thing. I could be minding my own and this is what happens. That's what I hear. A lot happens on social media. I could be minding my own business, just scrolling, guess what Something pops up with hit X or somebody, this or somebody that I wasn't looking for him, but now, guess what? That person is now back in my mindset, back in my mind. Oh, let me see what they do. You see how it starts. I got time for that because here's the thing. I'm not trying to waste time with what I got right now at all and I know that that's going. That can be a problem, a big problem, and and a lot of people don't understand, like, hey, well, you know, somebody asked me recently hey, how can I stop with social media? It's like at the certain point of time, you have to understand what is your point, what is your reason for being on social media.
Speaker 2:Yeah and sometimes I'll get an answer. Be like, hey, you know what, just pointly scrolling, then think about that thing. What else can you do with your time than doing something that's pointless and something that's awesome, steve idea moment. What can you think? You think about it because, again, how long we got on this earth to waste our time? How long you want to waste your time? How long you want to waste your time.
Speaker 1:So so what can a person do to protect their, their mental and emotional health? Wow, on social media.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that you phrase the question in an interesting way, because I don't think that it's. It's very practical for most people to just not be on it.
Speaker 4:How do you know I'm a lion's skin?
Speaker 3:Yeah, the way society has has kind of been structured. Now we have it's. It's one of the ways that some, it's one of the only ways that some people have social interaction, like, like I say with my that there's no more choirs in with it, the things that we used to do, going to the skating rink, going to the bowling, like getting together, like it's not the most ideal, but for some people it's the only way that they're able to, to have some social interaction, even if it is pseudo. Going back to Tom Hanks and cast away, it's like we need, like we will find Wilson, and like he'll become that volleyball will become our best friend. We're going to find a connection somewhere. We'll make it up in order to keep from going crazy. It's not good that man should be alone. It's not just about marriage. All right, we're humans, are social beings, and Because our society has changed and shifted so much, for some people it's it's the only way they can stay in touch with family, it's the only way they can stay in touch with with certain.
Speaker 1:I get that you stand touch with family, certain friends, but, yeah talking about social media and how it's, yeah, the world, you know, how do you, how do you protect yourself, while still because I mean it's not going anywhere? And yes, I believe social media has made us actually more in social and on social then we were before because, like we said, guys should be able to approach girls. Now you don't. You can just, you can kind of almost go through a photo lineup like I think she cute, let me figure it out. Okay, she ain't got a. I'm not gonna work hard, I'm just gonna go to the next one. That's gonna be easier.
Speaker 1:So how do you you protect your marriage relationship while having a sodium Social media presence? Like do you have to start having joint accounts, because I've seen some couples have joint accounts that.
Speaker 3:Let me tell you this, that's not a foolproof method. I know somebody that that very close association, that Somebody got into some mess had a joint account. I'm just saying One spouse might not be on, they just had the joint account. But I would say what you need there are healthy boundaries and I think you need breaks. You you have to schedule time. You you have to have times when alright, this is sacred. There's nothing that's sacred anymore. Marriage is no longer sacred. You know the dinner table, that nothing is sacred, anything goes, anything can get in the way. Nothing is important because you Society has just been restructured.
Speaker 3:I would say having times, rituals, space where you can fast from social media, where I personally, when I was married, I didn't even want a TV in my bedroom, that's just me, because I didn't want anything to come in between. The connection is like we can do that out there. We need space. We need space that's sacred, just whatever that means for you as a couple. Have the Lord set aside one day and seven. This is sacred. What is that for your relationship? What is that time for you to be able to say, all right, we're going to push pause on everything else. Nothing's going to come but us into this space at this time.
Speaker 2:For this reason, that's my thought- Even inside of that, with things being sacred in the marriage. What is sacred for the end of Israel? Again, how are you spending your time If what you're doing is pointless? Is this sacred? Are you sacred anymore? Is your body a template?
Speaker 2:We always talk about what we eat and what we ingest or whatnot. We're talking about food. You got to eat this, you got to eat that. We're never really talking about what we ingest when it comes to this media. We're ingesting empty calories. We're ingesting big grains of salt and fat. We're expecting to come out of this unscathed. We're expecting to come out of this with no heart disease, no cancers.
Speaker 2:It's amazing how so many people are addicted to this but don't know they're addicted to this. Yeah, you're in a relationship, being able to be aware of how much time you spend on it versus how much time you talk to your spouse and what it is that you're actually looking at. You have to protect not only your body as a temple, but your mind as a temple too. You have to know your vices as well as understand. Hey, this has the potential to end something good. Maybe that I have. Do I really want to take that chance? Do I really want to do that Again. Like I said, know yourself. It's getting to be overwhelming in a little bit just too much, I think at a certain point in time couple with now how AI is generating photos of things that just aren't real we're going to see a whole new generation of social media that we cannot explain because we're now seeing not only just photos.
Speaker 2:We're seeing videos of things that just aren't real. So that's right now, steve, imagine having this whole conversation with the love of your life on Facebook, but they don't even exist and you don't know they exist.
Speaker 1:Some straight avatar stuff.
Speaker 4:That's where we are. That's where we have landed? No, it is. We need to get from everything. That's why prayer and fasting is so important. I believe from technology, because again I take breaks and I check out and again it's healthy. It helps me recharge. I take breaks from people. I've learned that sometimes I need to just because I deal with people all day. There's certain hours of the day I have learned.
Speaker 4:This is God's time. This is the time I deal with my own kids, my own life, my wife, my family, my friends, my cousins. But then there's times that I just need to just. It's just me and the birds outside singing Nature. Because, again, just having that time to just process and just reflect, like you said, getting to know what it is, what is my purpose, what is today's mission.
Speaker 4:Because, again, if I pick up my phone first, I try not to do that. Sometimes it's a habit to pick it up to see what time it is, In case I over select. But the other habit is, I know you pick it up, you see what time it is, and it's natural for most people to just start scrolling First thing in the morning. That's the first thing they do. But I try not to even do that. I'm trying not to. You know, I bought a. I bought. I'll look at my watch. I'm trying to. It was something else I got, so I didn't have to pick up my phone first. Because I know if I pick up my phone first I'm going to get sucked in. It could be a text message from someone that's just asking a random question and from there again I'm. I'm here we go.
Speaker 3:So I don't even look at my email until the afternoon.
Speaker 2:You don't look at your text messages to the end of the week Maybe sometimes y'all be texting too much.
Speaker 1:man I got but we're using, we're using it in in a in a proper way. If you were to look at it, maybe you can't.
Speaker 3:Sometimes I'll be saying this about food. Is this I can't say not Sometimes y'all sending some food? Is this brand?
Speaker 4:is water really wet? I'm like man, let me check that out. No, it's, it's, you know what?
Speaker 2:I've, I've, I've broken some brains before, when I've asked the question, and when they talk about social media, I said I see that you're scrolling. When does when does it stop? But when do you know when to stop? Cause does it stop and you? It's like it's just a recent Like I just hit all control, delete, and they don't understand that this never ends, this doesn't stop. So when do you know when to stop when you have to go pee?
Speaker 1:or when you just fall asleep. No, they take it in the bathroom, it's endless. See, there you go. So again, what is we doing? What are we?
Speaker 2:doing? What are we doing, the makers of these particular things? Don't let their kids use them. Don't that tell you something that is? True, don't let that tell you something They've said themselves. I'm not letting my kids use these things that we have made for you. Oh no, all right, so we got.
Speaker 1:We got to wrap this up, we're. We're a little later than what we would like to be at the recording. No one said it was you.
Speaker 2:I mean you still only want to dress like he was outside. But it ain't you. I got to even this out. I got to even this out.
Speaker 1:I didn't say it so I'm not going to y'all said it in the closing, closing statements. You know we we talked about, you know how social media is negative. Is there something positive that social media has done Absolutely? And if so, and is it still positive? Or do you see whatever that is, that it's going to be negative? I can go first.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because I got to get ready to run. But yeah, social media, there are positive action. I mean with everything. There are positive aspects with most. I'll put it this way with most things where we can find positive, that's how we get an overload of negative, from music to film to everything. There's always those positive elements. But social media has connected people.
Speaker 4:I know during the pandemic, I know Danny and myself. I know we were following a pass by the name of various Daniels and I didn't know about them until social media. I was flipping through some things and I found them on there and then I pulled up some sermons and I found more like it, just it. It. It led me down a positive rabbit hole that every day I would get up and find something that he did, or him and some other people, and it kept me focused or it kept me. I'll just say it kept me focused. So connecting with people is not. It is good to be able to catch up with people without actually having to talk to people all the time. Sometimes I don't want to call some people and you know I could just wish them well happy birthday. So there there are some positive attributes to being able to connect to some people and and there are, you know, and there are some things that help people do positive things, but there is that nest of evil, that that that lies next to it. That's it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was just going to say that, like, like I mentioned in the previous episode, the way I see it, it's the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because it is, and so that there's a lot of good, like Keith just pointed out, and as Steve has done so eloquent a job, is a lot of evil, it's a lot of just twisted stuff, and so we, we have to use this thing that's lodged between our two ears, called the brain, and where you get one of it, it's, it's not just wisdom that we need it. Today's the first of the month. I don't know when you're watching this, but I was reading in Proverbs, chapter one, and in these first few verses it's letting us know there's a difference between wisdom and discipline and understanding, and we need all of them. Knowing is not enough. So, having the wisdom, the understanding, to apply that knowledge, that wisdom, and then the discipline to, to, to govern ourselves, to have the times when we're just like you know what, no, no, no, I'm going to take a break. I need a, I need a rest, I need a Sabbath from this and to preserve the health and the life of our most important relationship, because it's hard not to get sucked into the vortex. If you're there, you're going to get sucked in, but at least have some protective measures in place so that you are able to to get back to whatever your principles are.
Speaker 1:All right, steve, I'm going to let you close this one out.
Speaker 2:Go ahead. I think that Danny definitely has brought up some good points and especially, you know, thinking about the use of discernment. You know, we ask, you know, ask God for a lot of things, but I think sometimes we don't ask God, not only for strength, but we don't ask for God. Hey, please give me discernment on what I need to, what I need to do, what I not need to do, what I need to do, what I not need to do. You know, and discernment is very, very key when using social media, taking things for granted, so not thinking that everything is, is, is, is the truth, or, you know, being able to discern what is needed to be ingested and what is not needed to be ingested, and I think that that is a key component to being able to live with social media. You know, as well as knowing. You know, knowing the rabbit holes that you can go down to. You know, sometimes you know it's best that gamblers don't walk in a casino, but they have to know that they, hey, can't do that. There's a reason why there's a list for each state. I think it's each state that gamblers can put themselves on to say that they are banned from a casino. There's a reason. So when you know when you, when you know yourself better than anybody else, then you can make better judgment.
Speaker 2:But you got to have discernment for that and I think that I hope, at another time too, we can definitely talk about something that Danny brought up about marriage and if it's even sacred anymore, because I think that is a very, very key subject that not only us as a society, as a culture, need to talk about, but us as black men we need to talk about too, because I think that social media sometimes plays a role in us not being very serious about marriage. You know, and if we have a breakdown of marriage, we have a breakdown of the family. In turn, we have a breakdown of our culture. So I hope at one time we can definitely talk about the seriousness of marriage and how important it is to us as black men. We'll definitely get on that.
Speaker 1:Thank you for your time for these late night hours. I don't take it as I don't take it lightly. I know there's something else we can be doing with our time investing in our family but we're taking this time to invest in our culture, invest in our people and to put some positivity out there. So, as always, iron table iron, sharpening iron. I'd like to thank Danny, steve and Keith for again just being transparent, being willing to kind of move the needle back in a direction of morality and truth, All right peace.